WOMEN

#MyFatSexStory Is Challenging The Way We Think About Fat Women And Sex

"People insist on trivializing and demoralizing sex with fat black women."

A new hashtag is trying to change the way we think about the sex lives of fat women. 

Last week, after Gabourey Sidibe's sex scene on "Empire," discussions arose across social media about the ways in which plus-sized women are portrayed in film and TV. So often, fat women are there to give sassy one-liners or be the butt of jokes, but rarely are they allowed to have love interests, let alone sex. 

On Thursday, writer Sesali B. decided to challenge the ongoing narrative of fat women as asexual and undesirable by creating the hashtag #myfatsexstory. Through the hashtag, she shared her own personal experience having sex as a fat black woman who is also queer, in a Twitter story that she posted in its entirety in a blog for Feministing.  

"My hope was that sharing personal sex stories from and about fat black women could make more room in the narrative about our sexuality," Sesali B. wrote in the blog.

After sharing her story, the writer encouraged other women like her to chime in. What followed was an honest and deeply profound dialogue, in which fat women of all backgrounds shared their personal experiences with sex, as well as their struggles with body image, slut-shaming, stigma and erasure. 

The conversation is ongoing, and it only further proves why Sidibe's "Empire" love scene was so important. If more women like Sidibe were seen in the media being sexual and being desired, the idea of fat women liking sex and being sexually desirable would be less of a big deal. All women's desires and sexualities should be affirmed, no matter what their bodies look like.

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