My brother sent me a link about Aaron Hernandez killing himself. When I replied "That makes me so sad" i realized I must have pushed a button because he immediately wrote me back: "Does it make you sad that a guy killed himself yesterday in Cleveland after killing that 75 year old man walking home from his kids Easter dinner?"
I stopped and thought about it.
Why did I feel so sad?
So I wrote my brother a letter, and thought it might be a letter worth sharing. So here goes, my letter to michael . . .
The ego wants to judge, right? So your ego wants to judge "yeah, that piece of shit aaron hernandez did bla bla bla..." and you want me to join you in that thought.
I understand. Truly i do ~
But when I wrote "that makes me so sad" after you told me aaron hernandez killed himself, i wasn't writing "that makes me so sad" from my ego.
I was writing "that makes me so sad" from my heart.
Because on the deepest level, we are all doing the best we can with what we have. We are both sacred ~ and stupid.
I am reminded of that everyday.
The fact is aaron Hernandez did horrible things, noone would dispute that.
But he was a tortured soul.
And he obviously felt remorse and couldn't live with himself.
I know the highest level of evolution is not trying to change anyone else, so i will save you my own song and dance on all of this. But i truly just love you so much michael, i dont want you to suffer with a judgement about a tortured soul.
Any time we judge another, it takes away from our ability to be the best version of ourselves.
And no-one feels good about that.
Period.
So let's all help and remind each other to transcend that voice in our head that would judge another human being without "walking a mile in their shoes."
Listen, I forget myself...
The second I feel judged or cornered, I get defensive. My ego gets queud.
Just ask Merba how an innocent text on her part sent me into unravel mode on Easter Sunday.
However, I consider my ability to go straight to compassion when I witness another person's dysfunctional humanity one of my greatest gifts.
There's a reason why Donald Trump is president. Never before in our lifetime have we been called to dig deeper and flex harder our own muscles of compassion, understanding and forgiveness. Just when I think it can't get any worse, I have to stop and ask myself "What thoughts am I thinking to contribute to this madness?"
Helen said it best . . . "What thoughts am I thinking that God would not have me think? And what thoughts am I not thinking that God would have me think?"
Bottom line is, When we suffer enough, in a really specific way, we're able to feel a deeper level of compassion for every one.
When we see how manipulative our own ego can be on a daily basis, we see with compassion how another person's could lead them down the darkest ~ and most destructive of paths.
Aaron Hernandez and that other guy just listened to the wrong voice in their head Michael.
Think about that.
And they regretted it so deeply. . . they killed themselves.
YES, that makes me so sad.
My heart breaks for all of us when we listen to the wrong voice in our head. Because we all do... every day.
May we all listen with clarity to the voice that will cultivate a kinder, more loving world. That is my wish for all of us. My wish for all of humanity. . .
And i apoligize if this in any way feels like a lecture to you, as it was writen more of a reminder to myself.
Love your little brotherjimmy