Mary Poppins knew when it was time to open her umbrella and fly away. I feel as forlorn as Jane and Michael Banks, for our nanny, Edna, is leaving us too.
Edna officially took care of my son, but for 19 years, she was my nanny too. She taught me lessons about motherhood and marriage. She found my keys and cell phone on a daily basis. Loyal, devoted, discreet and wise, she was like a nurse or lady's companion in a play by Euripides or Shakespeare. Though I never had luck at the stock market or Lotto, Lady Luck smiled when I met Edna.
I was a newlywed and aspiring New York City songwriter when Edna arrived as our every-other-week housekeeper. She tidied up our starter apartment as my collaborator and I wrote funny songs at the piano and created a musical called, The Joys of Sex. When we needed a photo for our New York Fringe Festival application, Edna snapped goofy photos of us in bed with blow up dolls.
Edna became our full time nanny because my son was born precisely when our musical headed Off Broadway in a million dollar production. I squoze into my pre-pregnancy sequined clothes and performed at backers auditions on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Every day for a month, Edna strolled my infant up Park Avenue and down Fifth Avenue and come home with $20,000 of checks in the pram. Her husband will never get over the shock of that musical, but Edna deserved those front row seats.
Edna’s been my collaborator as a wife, mother, and songwriter. When motherhood inspired me to turn my songwriting from the theatre to being a Mommy Rocker it was Edna who organized the endless props of bubbles and puppets and parachutes and maracas. It was Edna who bedazzled my guitar and gig bags. It was Edna who designed the costumes in my Happily Ever Moey videos. And when I auditioned musicians from Craig’s List in my apartment, Edna had a code: if she turned on the blender, they didn’t get the gig.
"Been there, done that." Edna always says. She became a mom at 16 and a grandma at 36, so she truly knew of what she spoke. When my son had a febrile seizure, Edna gave him mouth to mouth while I frantically called 911. Edna ironed my son's school uniform. She was ten minutes early to every pick up. I think Greenwich mean time set their clocks by her. Edna was more than a nanny, she was our family’s fairy godmother.
I was never jealous of my son’s love for Edna. He always preferred how she stroked his hair before bed. He prefered her chicken tenders too and honestly I did too. Edna gave him consistency while I gave him adventure. She along with my husband, was the three legged stool that gave him his foundation.
I waited till my son was grown up enough before I got a divorce. Edna waited till he was grown up enough before she retired. She has seen him from a spot in a sonogram to a six foot tall, bar mitzvah boy. I gave Edna the bridal suite when she came to our Vermont country inn for the celebration. There was no one in his life who deserved it more.
Edna’s job was done with perfection. Now she can retire to her yellow house in Florida where she can relax with her family and catch up on her collection of classic movies and novels. We will see her again, on Facetime and in Florida and of course at a future college graduation and wedding.
After all the bedtime stories it seems fitting to say good-bye with a quote from Dr. Seuss: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”’
Happy Mother’s Day to Edna and all the unsung mothers in our lives, the godmothers, aunties, teachers, nannies, friends. To mother is so much more than giving birth. It’s to love, to sacrifice, to give and let go. I am so grateful to Edna, my teacher, my friend.
