"Such a nasty woman." - growled Donald Trump, leaning into the mic to talk over Hillary Clinton while she discussed the importance of access to healthcare during the third and final Presidential debate last night.
There was a collective gasp across the nation as women, and men who respect women, recoiled and social media lit up in disgust. Trump seems to have forgotten that women are the majority of voters and that words like that land as gut punches across the nation. But this isn't the first time Trump has been oblivious to the impact of his words. In fact, he has blithely discounted the impact of words overall.
"It's just words, folks. It's just words," said Donald Trump, during the second Presidential debate.
The damage done by the "just words" Donald Trump has uttered in the debates, yelled during this election, spoken on the Access Hollywood tape, and spread at rallies throughout our nation will reverberate with our children, teens, and in our communities for years to come.
His "just words" included him saying one of the most un-American things a candidate for President can ever say during the debate last night. When directly asked if he would maintain the tradition of losers conceding to winners: "I'll tell you at the time. I'll keep you in suspense, okay?" Those kinds of words are a direct threat to our democracy and are the words of a sore loser, a bully.
Trump has dragged political discourse through the gutter, into the drain, and deep into the sewer system. All the while, our children have been listening, watching, and learning.
"I haven't been able to let my son watch the Presidential debates because he saw Trump on TV talking about hitting someone and he immediately parroted it and talked about hitting people. It took us awhile to walk that back and establish we don't hit people." - Lauren
Words matter. Words set the parameters of civil behavior and affect how children behave and act toward one another. Moms, dads and children know this. We expect our candidates for the highest office in the land to know this too. But as one 11-year-old from North Carolina, said: "Whoever was supposed to teach [Trump], he clearly didn't learn."
Trump's regular use of denigrating words, like "bad hombres," "fat pigs," "dogs," and worse, to describe women and Mexican immigrants - and his racist and xenophobic behavior, including: His attacks on the Khans, the Gold Star Muslim family whose son gave his life defending our country; his ongoing hounding of the Central Park 5, the five teenagers of color who were exonerated on DNA evidence and a confession by the real perpetrator; and his pronouncement that the judge presiding in the racketeering lawsuit against Trump University could not be impartial because his parents are Mexican -- have become numbing background static to our political discourse.
We've been so awash in hate that many haven't noticed its lasting impact on our communities and our children. The fact that Trump's hateful impersonation of Serge Kovaleski, a journalist with a disability (which he lied and denied during the third debate), and his mocking Asian people with an accent-- actions that reveal callous insensitivity and gross stereotyping -- were only a blip in the news is a sad statement of our current times.
But our children and teens have been paying attention:
"In the car the other day my eight-year-old son said, out of the blue, 'Trump thinks women like him, but he calls them 'pigs.'' I've never told him about the 'pigs' quote from Trump. This is coming from kids talking with each other." - Ashley
Trump has too often uttered words that children should never hear or emulate: "I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the p---y. You can do anything."
No, Donald Trump, you can't do anything.
But you can harm a whole lot of children. Condoning and minimizing sexual assault is not just "locker room talk" or "one of those things" as Trump asserted during the second debate. Then he doubled down last night in the third debate, saying that he had no reason for remorse: "I didn't even apologize to my wife, who's sitting right here, because I didn't do anything. It was all lies and it was fiction." The tape was certainly not "fiction," nether are the many women who have stepped forward - and the fact that one in five women in the U.S. have been raped and nearly half have experienced sexual assault is most certainly not "one of those things."
Increasingly, Trump's hateful words are being echoed by our children.
During a high school basketball game in Indiana, students from one school chanted, "Build that wall!" and raised images of Donald Trump because the opposing team's players and fans were mostly Hispanic. This isn't an isolated incident. At a game in Iowa, students shouted "Trump, Trump, Trump" at the players and fans from a school with a student body that is nearly half Hispanic.
Studies show that Trump's hate speech is negatively affecting the children of our nation. More than two-thirds of teachers surveyed reported that students--mainly immigrants, children of immigrants, and Muslims--expressed concerns or fears about what might happen to them or their families after the election.
"Yesterday my six-year-old came to me worried about the election.. I've never even watched election coverage with her in the room. She was worried about Trump winning because, 'He wants to send Muslims away and I don't want to leave, I like it here.' Our family is Black, Puerto Rican and Muslim. Noor was born in New Haven hospital and has lived her whole life in Connecticut - she knows no other home. She's now concerned she'll be exiled from her own country." - Khadija
Trump has done more than perpetuate racism, sexism, and xenophobia, though. According to Politifact he lies 72% of the time, he also brags about not paying taxes, elevates white nationalism and the alt-right, and continually unleashes lies and rants on Twitter.
These are the actions of a bully. A bully uses words as weapons. A bully divides and harms people. A bully preys on people's worst fears and offers fake solutions that spread more pain and anger.
A bully is not a leader.
No school in America would tolerate this behavior or language. Why on earth would we elect a leader to model this for our children?
Most importantly, we cannot let Trump's toxic hate speech dampen voter turnout. A recent Gallup poll found that only 47% of voters said they'll "definitely" vote this election, down 11% from the last Presidential election. Low voter turnout means the election could be far closer than the polls and pundits predict. Our nation cannot afford that.
Our choice is clear: We can elect a candidate, Donald Trump, who will reinforce a pervasive and intensely harmful rape culture with massive sexism, xenophobia and racism woven through - a man who says he wants to "Make America Great" but whose words make America hate. Or we can elect a real role model for our children and communities - a woman who has spent most of her life fighting for our children and our families, including for fair pay, affordable childcare, and paid family medical leave: Hillary Clinton.
It's time to stop the spread of hate and make sure we never have to cover our children's ears during a State of the Union address as many had to throughout this election. The future of our communities and our children depend on it.