Nate Berkus And His Husband Have A Beautiful Way Of Honoring Nate's Late Partner
In 2004, Nate's partner was killed in the devastating tsunami during their visit to Sri Lanka. But he is "definitely a part of" Nate's marriage to Jeremiah Brent.
Lisa Capretto— OWN
In 2004, it may have seemed hard for Nate Berkus to imagine happiness making its way back into his life. That year, the interior designer had lost his beloved partner, photographer Fernando Bengoechea, when the two found themselves literally swept away by the devastating tsunami that struck Sri Lanka, where they were vacationing. More than 30,000 people in Sri Lanka died in the natural disaster; though Nate survived, the pain of losing Fernando was all-consuming.
“I have the grief to contend with,” Nate told Oprah shortly after the tragedy. “But I do believe that I survived so that I would have a greater understanding both of what I’ve had, what I’ve lost and what I still have to gain.”
Advertisement
Slowly, Nate did begin to heal, and even found ways to honor Fernando’s memory through the years. And perhaps no one is a bigger supporter of honoring Fernando’s memory than Nate’s own husband, Jeremiah Brent.
Nate married Jeremiah, a fellow interior designer and the host of "Home Made Simple," in 2014. Oprah was a guest at the wedding, where Jeremiah's vows to Nate included a nod to Nate's past relationship.
"That's a part of our love story. There's no two ways about it," Jeremiah tells "Oprah: Where Are They Now?". "Yes, we're married this time, but [Fernando is] definitely a part of it."
Advertisement
He continues, "I oddly feel connected to him. I honor that story."
Jeremiah is also determined to keep Fernando's memory alive for young Poppy, who Nate and Jeremiah welcomed via surrogacy in 2015.
"Our daughter will know who he was," Jeremiah says. "We have pictures of him in the home."
While Jeremiah's approach seems to be one that comes with relative ease, Nate says that his own reconciliation of the past was more of a struggle.
"I didn't know how to articulate what I needed from a new relationship," he says. "I didn't know how to articulate how to keep that and honor that, but still move forward without any guilt or any fear."
Advertisement
“I worry about anything happening to [Jeremiah],” Nate admits. “I worry, obviously, because I’ve had such great loss. I don’t want to go through that again ― no one does, whether you’ve had it or you haven’t.”
Turning to his husband, Nate continues.
“You were the first person to come into my life and not be threatened or afraid, not afraid to poke the damage and say, ‘That happened. Let’s talk about it. Let’s figure it out, and how can it be part of our world in a way that’s healthy?’” Nate says. “And so it is.”
Nate and Jeremiah’s full interview airs on this weekend’s “Oprah: Where Are They Now?”, on Saturday, Jan. 23, at 10 p.m. ET on OWN.
A previous version of this article stated that 400 people died in the tsunami. In fact, that number referred to the people in the Arugam Bay and Pottuvil region, where Berkus and Bengoechea were staying. The total death toll from the natural disaster was more than 30,000.
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.