WEIRD NEWS

What National Hug Day Is Like For People Who HATE Hugs

Or as we like to call them, sensible people.

It’s National Hug Day, which means that touchy-feely people everywhere are getting set to envelop their acquaintances with their grimy arms.

But some people view this day only with fear. The people who HATE hugging.

Frankly, hugging is getting out of control in American culture. It used to be that when you met a new individual, you’d give them a hearty, respectful handshake.

Now it seems everyone and their brother thinks a hug is an appropriate greeting. Which it's not. 

And don’t get me started on the “hugging goodbye after a night out at the bar” hugs.

I drink to forget hugs exist, not to get bombarded with more of them.

Frankly, if I wouldn’t want to kiss you on the lips, why would I want to let you wrap your body around me?

Speaking of kissing, don't go thinking that the European-style kissing your friends on the cheek is an appropriate substitute. BLEEGGGHHHHHHHH.

There is one exception to hugs being terrible though.

Dog hugs. Dog hugs are literally always great.

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