Recently I saw a woman on the bus carrying what looked like a rallying call for New Year's resolutions. On her sagging beige tote bag she carried the slogan: "FOLLOW those things that you truly believe in. Those things that have this incredible power to drive YOURself beyond where you always thought. Its time to walk ahead and reach this that you always had in your head. Its time to go. It's time to find your OWN STAR."
New Year's Day creates this propitious atmosphere for self-renewal because we feel as though the entire world is starting over, just as we are. Nevertheless, only eight percent of us will achieve our New Year's resolution, says Steve Saphiro, author of "Goal-Free Living."
We all start with the best intentions, but the truth is that firm resolve is not enough. Resolutions rely on breaking and building of habits.
Photo by Dyane J. F.
This is actually good news because, in my experience, it is easier to substitute a good habit for a bad one than to simply add an extra good habit to your lifestyle. Substitution is also the ideal way to think about your resolution because it alleviates this most common dilemma: "I don't have the time." Instead of trying to stretch your day to fit in something extra, you will simply replace one activity with another.
There are no small or big resolutions. It's your life, spend it the way you like. However, if your resolution is about something you neither want nor need (food, shelter, safety and the means to procure these) you are unlikely to succeed. Therefore, the first step is to be honest with yourself and make sure your goal is something you yearn for. For example, it might be a good idea to spend more time with your friend Sophie because you feel guilty that she is always the one calling you. Unless you like Sophie, you can probably ditch that resolution.
For all other resolutions, here are few ideas to start the journey:
Old habits
Keep in mind the meaning of resolution. According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, the Latin origin resolutio means to solve, by the the process of reducing things into simpler forms.
Outline the behaviors/habits that constitute the current situation. If I am overweight, some contributing habits may be overeating and avoiding exercise.
New habits
Outline a new set of habits to directly supplant your negative habits. If you overeat because you only buy unhealthy foods on impulse at the supermarket, choose to make a healthy grocery list before going to the store every time. If you cannot find healthy options at the lunch counter, make your lunch a day or two ahead.
Time and Commitment
Oh, but I haven't got the time, you say. Realize and accept that time is finite. As such, if you want to do something new, you may need to remove something old from your life. If you often use your TV as an enabler to avoid making your lunch, then you need to make a choice: Do you want to lose weight or do you want to watch TV?
For every "oh, but..." find a definitive solution until you have made your own yellow brick road to success. Once you have your new habits outlined and you see a clear path lying ahead, commit 100 percent.
If you commit only 90 percent of the time you can always talk yourself into thinking that right now is good time to use that 10 percent exception. But if you commit 100 percent then there is no loophole. What must be done, you do. Again, it is important that your goal be something you strongly desire. Otherwise your unfailing commitment will only lead to self-flagellation. Motivational Speaker and Writer Jack Canfield expounds on commitment in his book The Success Principles.
A Mistake Is Not a Failure
To strengthen your commitment, rest not on your mind alone. Get your whole life into it. Create a few buffer habits that will keep you as focused on the goal as much as possible until fulfilling your resolution becomes habitual, almost instinctual.
For example, you have committed to jogging 20 minutes twice a week. A buffer may be forgoing the bus ride every morning and walking 20 minutes, no matter what. This activity is like a small version of your big goal. Performing it regularly will strengthen your resolve to get to the main event, jogging.
If you walk every day whether it is raining or snowing, you will not only be strengthening your resolution but you will get bonus results. If you falter in main exercise routine or diet plan, you will still be better off than if you had done nothing. These buffers help eliminate that feeling of doom and guilt that befalls us when we make a mistake.