Newt Gingrich: My Third Wife Wants Me to be a Good Catholic

Newt Gingrich has converted to Catholicism. He apparently has the zeal of the converted because he is already attacking Obama for having anti-Catholic values. He tweeted it out the other day about Obama giving the commencement speech at Notre Dame:

"It is sad to see notre dame invite president obama to give the commencement address Since his policies are so anti catholic values."

Newt has been divorced twice, married three times and left one of his wives when she was in the hospital with cancer. Stop me when I get to pro-Catholic values. Newt is also in favor of the death penalty, which is also against Catholic values. How come no one ever protests that?

Obama is going to Notre Dame and people claiming to be devout Catholics are up in arms. They were just as concerned about John Kerry when he was running for president. They even wanted to deny him communion. How come no one ever protests or denies communion to pro-death penalty politicians?

The answer is because religion has been turned into a political farce in this country. Nobody gives a damn what the Bible actually says or what the religions are supposed to stand for. The Religious Right have simply inserted the Republican platform for where the Bible used to be.

The pope was against the Iraq invasion. Has any politician in America been denied communion because they were for the war? The Bible says it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven. Has any politician been chastised by any of the major religious figures in America for providing further tax cuts for the wealthy?

It's a joke. But now Newt has taken the joke one step further. He is apparently converting because his third wife is Catholic. Does no one see the irony of this: My third wife wanted me to be a good Catholic!

But don't worry, Newt is pro-Catholic values. How do I know? Because he is a registered Republican. That's apparently all you need these days.

By the way, I will be speaking at Notre Dame a month before President Obama does. If the right-wing alumni of Notre Dame are pissed about Obama speaking, wait till they get a load of me.