Taking a job in the Trump administration is a lot like opening the Ark of the Covenant from “Indiana Jones.” Getting inside probably isn’t a good idea, but maybe the curiosity, fame and glory get the best of some people. And then it’s too late: your face ― er, reputation ― is melted.
On Thursday, Twitter assembled some sure-fire ways to make this White House work more like the fine-tuned machine some people claimed it to be. Here are some of the best #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements, started by @MilesOfHashtags.
Know how to speak microwave talk #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements @MilesOfHashtags
— Jillian (@Pheramuse) August 31, 2017
#NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements A Secret Decoder Ring!!!@MilesOfHashtags pic.twitter.com/s6jyWvk9OA
— View from my Office (@viewfrommyoffic) August 31, 2017
Must be available for at least 10 days or 1 Scaramucci #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements
— David E (@DaSkrambledEgg) August 31, 2017
You pay yourself #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements
— Aaron Weinbaum (@aaronsayswhat1) August 31, 2017
Must look forward to being fired when Donnie is sad.#NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements
— Shea Browning (@SheaBrowning) August 31, 2017
#NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements Cannot have a reflection in mirrors.
— W. M. (@Minuteman04) August 31, 2017
Must color within the lines. #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements pic.twitter.com/tpzBdNoZnm
— Queen Mossino (@DejaCQQ99) August 31, 2017
Ability to lie with the conscience of a sociopath.#NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements
— Lord ByronAF (@lordbyronaf) August 31, 2017
#NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements
— Abraham Gutman (@abgutman) August 31, 2017
When it comes to job experience and qualifications, less is more.
Must not be a "swamp"!! Exceptions includes Goldman Sachs,chemical plant owners, lobbyists...#ThursdayThought #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements
— SurfSnowSkateRepeat (@SurfSnowSk8Live) August 31, 2017
Hair Wrangler.#NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements
— Count Richula (@Foxification) August 31, 2017
Plausible deniability. #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements pic.twitter.com/mrYDnrDxMo
— Judge You Harshly™ (@JudgeYouHarshly) August 31, 2017
Experience with handling toddlers #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements
— MikealaSunshine (@Alohababe2011) August 31, 2017
Understand that this is a short term temporary position that will not lead to a full time job #NewWhiteHouseJobRequirements @MilesOfHashtags
— Eryn McCabe 🌼 (@Eryn_NotErin) August 31, 2017
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