NFL Week Three Roundup

Looking around the NFL this week I thought maybe the lockout happened a year early, since so many replacement players were taking over. Turns out, injuries and awful performances have led to backups taking on starting roles.

In Philadelphia, Michael Vick has been named the starting quarterback for the Eagles, relegating Kevin Kolb to backup status. No, I'm not going to make any dog jokes, they've all been done.

Eagles coach Andy Reid claims the move to Vick has nothing to do with Kolb's health. And if anyone knows anything about health, it's Andy Reid. Seriously, the guy looks like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man stole Wilford Brimley's mustache. I hadn't seen Reid in a while and, I mean, wow. What in the William Howard Taft is going on there? Even Charlie Weis thinks Reid has let himself go. Alright, alright, I feel bad for ripping on Andy. I should probably send him a gift. What about a slimming, black Eagles pullover? Size: Tent.

But back to Vick, there is a delicate balance for Philadelphia's offense and the way he plays. If Vick runs too much he could risk injury, so Philadelphia will certainly have to keep him on a short leash... sorry I couldn't resist.

In other quarterback news, Brett Favre has struggled so far as the Minnesota Vikings have started 0-2 this season. Experts are debating why Favre has had such a tough time this year. Is it the fact that No. 1 receiver Sidney Rice is out? Did Favre miss too much time in the preseason? Has the play-calling been off? No, no and no. The reason Favre is struggling? He's 112 years old. People aren't supposed to be playing football at that age. They're supposed to be sitting on a rocking chair in Florida, reading Parade Magazine and wondering why the kids don't call.

The San Diego Chargers failed to trade disgruntled wide receiver Vincent Jackson before a mandated deadline on Wednesday. Jackson is sitting out in hopes of inking a long-term contract, after he refused to sign a $3.268 million tender and work on an extension during the season. So to sum up, Jackson -- a guy with a pending four-game suspension for his second DUI -- has refused to play football this season for the meager sum of $3.268 million, before becoming a free agent in the offseason and getting a huge contract. I'd have a joke for that, but it makes me too freaking angry.

Speaking of holdouts, New York Jets coach Rex Ryan has ruled out stud cornerback Darrelle Revis for this weekend's game against the Miami Dolphins with an injured hamstring. So a guy who held out through most of training camp and missed tons of workouts while publicly complaining about a new contract comes back and gets injured in his second game? Who'd have guessed that would happen?

The New York Jets also had another public gaffe, as wide receiver Braylon Edwards and his beard were arrested on a drunken driving charge early Tuesday morning. Hey, Leonidas, if you stopped spending money on grooming products for your facial hair maybe you'd have some cash left over for a cab when you're done at the club. Apparently at his arraignment on Tuesday afternoon, the judge threw the book at Edwards, who bobbled then dropped it.

Ryan, the only person on the planet to ever drop an "F-bomb" before the word "snack," admonished his team on Wednesday and told them to stop embarrassing the Jets organization. Apparently he's the only one allowed to do that.

Enjoy the weekend's games.