Holiday gift ideas for your favorite NFL players, coaches, and owners!
Albert Haynesworth -- a trade to a team that plays a 3-4 defense and has a trainer for the conditioning test.
Donovan McNabb -- a new team with a head coach who's more interested in winning than in demonstrating his authority over his players and embarrassing them.
Jerry Jones -- the good sense to fire himself as the Cowboys' general manager.
DeSean Jackson -- a new choreographer for his touchdown dances.
Andy Reid -- a spot as a contestant on the next season of Dancing With the Stars.
Michael Vick -- a slice of humble pie and a flak jacket.
Tom Couglin -- 11 guys capable of playing special teams.
Eli Manning -- a successful treatment for his apparent color-blindness.
Brett Favre -- a walker and a rotary phone.
Matthew Stafford -- an injury-free season.
Jay Cutler -- an offensive line, improved footwork, and a better backup than Todd Collins.
Aaron Rodgers -- an invitation to Brett Favre's retirement party.
Drew Brees -- a book of baby names.
Matt Ryan -- a better nickname.
Jimmy Clausen - the ability to forget his rookie season.
John Fox -- the ability to forget Jimmy Clausen's rookie season.
Mike Williams and LeGarrette Blount -- the ability to make people forget about their college mistakes.
Sam Bradford -- the ability to make people stop confusing him with Matthew Stafford.
Pete Carroll -- a pep talk that inspires the Seahawks to beat the Rams the final weekend of the season and win the division with a 7-9 record.
Mike Singletary -- a new head coaching job with a quarterback not named Smith.
Ken Whisenhunt -- a new head coaching job with a quarterback.
Rex Ryan -- a foot massage and a pedicure.
Bill Belichick -- a smile.
Tony Sparano -- an offense.
Ralph Wilson -- a victory over New England.
Carson Palmer -- a new contract and a set of receivers who don't have their own reality TV shows.
Jake Delhomme -- a one-way ticket to Obscurityville.
Eric Mangini -- a one-way ticket to a retirement home for NFL coaches, where he'd be forced to share a room with Brad Childress and Rich Kotite.
Ben Roethlisberger -- the good sense to stay home during the off-season.
Ray Lewis -- a new choreographer for his pregame dance (see DeSean Jackson).
Austin Collie -- a concussion-free season.
David Garrard -- a successful treatment for his apparent color-blindness (see Eli Manning).
Vince Young -- a Dale Carnegie course and some anger management classes.
Gary Kubiak- - a new job as Tony Sparano's offensive coordinator.
Norv Turner -- an alarm clock to remind him that the football season starts in September, not in November.
Al Davis -- an invitation to dinner at Lane Kiffin's house.
Matt Cassel -- a job as an advocate for an appendix-free life, and a playoff game against Tom Brady and the Patriots.
Pat Bowlen - a head coach who doesn't alienate and trade away his best players.