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NFL Week 3 - Tweet Dreams

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Hypothetical tweets from real NFL figures!

@OfficialBraylon Tried to blow a .17 to match my uniform number - just missed! LOL #FearTheBeer

@BeanieWells26 Unless I suddenly learn how to play QB, it doesn't matter whether I'm healthy enough to start. #downonderek

@Erikcoleman26 So, is this Drew Brees guy supposed to be any good? #wherehaveIbeen

@wilfork75 Wait, I didn't think we had our bye until Week 5. #buffaloisajoke

@PeteCarroll Maybe I should spend less time tweeting and more time coaching. #FightOn

@RickyWilliams Hey, @OfficialBraylon - don't let the little things in life get you down. #highasakite

@Riggo44 (John Riggins) Hey, Mike Shanahan, loosen up. You're too tight. #sandybaby

@MichaelVickZone Coach Reid, I didn't realize concussions were contagious. #kevinwho

@D_Stallworth18 @OfficialBraylon - you're setting a bad example for the rest of us. #potmeetkettle

@leeevans83 Trust me, it doesn't matter who our QB is. #buffaloisontheclock

@JimmyClausen Taking the team bus to the game, but renting a stretch limo for my ego. #stayinghumble

@JayCutler6 WTF? The Mike Martz-led offense? What about the Jay Cutler-led offense? #teamplayer

@AntwanOdom98 Jimmy Clausen? For real? I may be considered a banned substance in NC after Sunday! LOL #ididntdoit

@JoshCribbs16 @MoMass_11 I've got more followers AND more receptions than you! #stillwinless

@JasonWitten How many fingers are you holding up? Wednesday. #stillconcussed

@LaurenceMaroney I got 5K for whoever see @carmeloanthony and buy him a plane ticket to NJ. #thistownistoobigforbothofus

@ndamukong_suh Pleased to meet you, Mr. Favre - hope you guessed my name. #nosympathyforthedevil

@ClayMatthews52 Don't worry, @Aaron Rodgers - you'll have a higher QB rating than @JayCutler6 when I'm done with him. #greenbaysackers

@briancushing56 Maybe this team doesn't need me after all. #clubped

@dwightfreeney Hey, Peyton - you got any more brothers who play QB and are on our schedule? #tacklingdummies

@davidgarrard9 I played so badly last week that @Jones_Drew32 dropped me from his fantasy team. #notinspiringfaith

@berry1429 (Eric Berry) Nobody told me that winning in the NFL would be so easy! irrationalexuberance

@B_Twice (Bernard Berrian) @VShiancoe - please tell me that you have compromising photos of Brett Favre #nootherpossibleexplanation

@reggie_bush Bored this week - went to publish my Heisman and then remembered . . . #notadmittingtheobvious

@TerrellThomas24 Wonder how I'd do in a foot-race with @ChrisJohnson28. #nochance

@murph918 (Louis Murphy) Just when I start to play well we get a new starting QB who's more familiar with Darrius Heyward-Bey #justgrinbaby

@tpolamalu No way - Tampa Bay's undefeated? I'll shave my head if we lose to them! #punxsutawneypolamalu

@rmathews24 Coach Turner told me to rest up this week because the team can beat Seattle without me. #cockybuttrue

@PatrickWillis52 Really? They're undefeated? Kansas City? #whatsgoingonhere

@sj39 (Steven Jackson) Wondering how good I could be on a team with a half-decent O-line. #you'llneverknow

@stylezwhite Hate trips to the DMV - it always takes them half an hour just to spell my name right.. #keepingthingsinperspective

@VinceYoung10 I THINK I'm playing the whole game this week, but maybe I should ask Coach Fish. #twostepsbackward