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NFL Week 4 - Tweet Dreams

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Hypothetical tweets from real NFL figures!

@DEZ_88 Does that amount include the tip? #dinnersonme

@OGOchoCinco Hmmm, is it just me, or does this cereal taste funny? #wrongnumber

@afan66 (Alan Faneca) I miss being in the AFC. My friends would play a drinking game based on how many times Dan Dierdorf mentioned me during a telecast. #obsequious

@TonyGonzalez88 By the way, how are the Chiefs doing this year? Have they won a game yet? LOL #2ndthoughts

@raylewis52com Can you believe it? Billy Cundiff asked me today if he could do my pregame dance during the player introductions next week! #nothappening

@KawikaMitchell 5 minutes after Bills released me they called me back and said they forgot to ask me if I'd ever played QB before. #desperationcity

@JimmyClausen @davidgarrard9 - really? All I have to do to be a successful NFL QB like you is to have a Twitter account? #secondtierquarterbacks

@RealDeal91 (Tommie Harris) What the heck do I have to do to get some playing time around here? #gametimedecision

@QBComa92 (Shaun Rogers) Need to work on my passing - Coach Mangini wants me to run the Wildcat offense this weekend. #UsainBoltJr

@LaurenceMaroney Trying hard to improve on my 2.0 yards per carry from last week's game. #nowonderwepasssomuch

@LouisD_26 (Louis Delmas) When I'm not busy flipping off Viking fans, I'm on the Exec Board of We R Love #strangebuttrue

@AaronRodgers12 Feeling a lot of pressure to win this weekend to keep Nick Collins from spitting at our own fans. #teamplayer

@Johnson80 (Andre Johnson) Thinking of canceling my weekend plans to visit Asomugha Island. #notabadidea

@PierreGarcon85 Of course I know who Blair White is - he's our waterboy, isn't he? #wallypipp

@kassimosgood Did I remember to lock the door on our way in? #nothomealone #donewithtwitter

@BFlowers24 (Brandon Flowers) Wish we had a game this weekend. Can't we trade bye weeks with Buffalo or Cleveland? #nothowitworks

@Kold91 (Cameron Wake) I'm going to spend more time in the Patriots' backfield Monday night than BenJarvus Green-Ellis. #wishfullthinking

@JaredAllen69 Since we have this week off, I've been spending a lot of time trying to regrow my mullet. #randyjohnsonapproves

@r81m (Randy Moss) BenJarvus Green-Ellis is tired of being referred to as "Law Firm". Says he might take legal action to stop people from doing that. #irony

@GHartley5 For some reason my coaches and teammates have been avoiding me like the plague this week - can't figure it out. #deadkickerwalking

@kbull53 (Keith Bulluck) No, we're not trying to get Tom Coughlin fired - Coach Cowher would never approve of that. #catsoutofthebag

@OfficialBraylon @KingJames - thanks for saying something dumb enough to knock me off the NY tabloids' back pages - I owe you one. #cantletitgo

@murph918 (Louis Murphy) Darrius Heyward-Bey may be targeted more often than I am, but the object of the game is to actually catch the ball. #juststatingtheobvious

@MichaelVickZone Anybody know who we're playing this weekend? #Donovanstrikesback

@mvp86hinesward Can't wait until Big Ben gets back next week - I'm starting to think that our backup QBs have blinders on. #missinginaction

@rmathews24 My ankle's fine, but I'm trying to figure out why @BeanieWells26 just bet me I couldn't hop up and down for 10 minutes straight. #dontdoit

@PatrickWillis52 Unless our offense can get its act together we're looking at 0-16. #lookinthemirrorfirst

@BMW_USC1 (Mike Williams-Seattle version) Just talked to @Hasselbeck - he said if I could get open & catch the ball, he might actually throw it to me! #notlikely

@sj39 (Steven Jackson) Ouch! Watch where you're sticking those accupuncture needles! #groininjuriesaretheworst

@EarnestGraham Still trying to figure out how the Steelers were able to beat us last week. #unsolvedmysteries

@CFinnegan31 Just thankful that Denver's QB is Kyle Orton and not @JayCutler6. #carefulwhatyouwishfor

@rak98 (Brian Orakpo) Donovan's putting a bounty on Andy Reid - hope I have a chance to make some plays on the sidelines. #tellhimwhathewinsbob