36 Jokes About Ninjas, Because We Love You And We Also Love Ninjas

They'll make you laugh ... TO DEATH!

Not much explanation is needed here. Ninjas are cool. We all love them, even though they mean to kill us. And we all love laughing at jokes. So why not laugh at jokes about ninjas?

The logic is airtight. Please, enjoy these 36 jokes about ninjas.


If a ninja kills in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
No, it makes a corpse!


How does a ninja deal with fear?
He gives it to others!


How many ninjas does it take to change a lightbul--

Where'd that lightbulb come from??

What's a ninja's favorite soda?

How do you wake a ninja?
You don't! It's a decoy! Your throat's cut!

How does a ninja pick up women?
It's easy once they're lifeless!

What is a ninja's favorite sound?
Does tempered steel on Adam's apple count?!

If you could be any type of ninja, what type would you--
Too late! You've been killed by a real ninja!

Do ninjas believe in God?
The more important question is, DO YOU???

How do you give a ninja directions?
Don't worry, he'll find you!


What do you use to hunt a ninja?

Your life!
How will you know when you've met a ninja?
The grim reaper will tell you!
What's a ninja's favorite sport?
You and everyone you care about!

How does a ninja change a tire?
He waits for you to change yours, then your life and your car are his!

How much do you pay a ninja for a job--
Aaaaaaaand your money's gone.

A ninja, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Good to see you two!"

What's a ninja's favorite vacation spot?
Whatever yours was!

How many throwing stars does a ninja have on him?
None, they're all on you!

How does a ninja celebrate your birthday?
Atop your grave!

What do you call a surprise party for a ninja?
A surprise mass funeral!
There are two kinds of ninjas in this world. 
The kind that's right behind you, and--

If a ninja is on a train traveling 50 mph from Chicago to Denver, how long before you notice everyone on board is dead and you're all alone?

Why can't ninjas trace?
Because it’s impossible for them to leave one!

How do you know when a ninja's drunk?
He'll kill both of you!
If a ninja has five apples and he gives one to Jim and one to Susie, how many apples does he have left?
Five. And two corpses.

What is a ninja's favorite book?
The one you're currently distracted by!

What is a ninja's preferred airline?

How many ninjas do you need for a band?
Just one, a ninja can easily kill a whole band!

Where does a ninja take someone on a first date?
Don't you mean ... A LAST DATE?!
What's the first thing you do when you wake up after sleeping with a ninja?
Wake up?! Mwahahahaha!
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