No English

No English
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BEIJING: Throughout my year and a half in Beijing I haven't had many taxi drivers who speak even a small amount of English. They were all supposed to study up for the Olympics, but imagine if a Chicago cabbie had to learn Chinese in his spare time for a future Olympics. Forgetaboutdit. The lessons didn't do much and I don't blame them. My own Chinese is similarly limited, and though I'm progressing a little better lately, taxi rides are usually silent affairs. I often slip my iPod buds into my ears and drift away watching traffic and buildings and people slip by in the haze.

My wife is Canadian-born, Taiwan-raised. She speaks both English and Mandarin flawlessly. She doesn't often reveal she's from Taiwan to cabbies unless they ask though, and they usually can't tell by her accent. Her brother in Taiwan accuses her of sounding like a mainlander now anyway, so it seems she's adapted to the putonghua dialect.

On the occasions they do ask her and she tells them she's from Taiwan, there are two or three predictable responses. One response is something along the lines of 'Why doesn't Taiwan want to be part of China? We are all brothers.' Another along those lines is 'I don't blame Taiwan for not wanting to be part of China.' Lastly, they might mention a relative they have in Taiwan, most of the time whom they've never met; or they might talk about their favorite Taiwan pop and movie stars.

Among the most unusual comments she's heard since we've been here have been things like:

'I'd vote for the Kuomintang.'

And from a separate cabbie, a similar though elaborated answer: 'If I could vote for Ma Ying-jeou over Hu Jintao, I'd vote for Ma.' (Ma is the current president of Taiwan; Hu Jintao the president of the People's Republic of China)

And this, about a month before the Olympics when asked if he was excited the Games were coming: 'No one asked me if I wanted them. I hate the Olympics. It's caused a lot of problems.'

Usually things don't get too political though, partly because my wife doesn't like to talk about politics. In particular, China-Taiwan political discussion can get too messy.

Lately though, neither of us have heard much along these lines or anything other than small talk. It could have to do with the eavesdropping systems they've installed in Beijing taxis. Future taxicab confessions in the capital might be few and far between with Big Brother sitting next to you in the front seat. Where language barriers don't succeed, technology might. Popping in the earphone buds is a much safer, though socially deafening, option.

With this in mind, I was surprised by my cabbie yesterday. Around seven in the evening, I was in a taxi on the East-Central side of Beijing, trying to get to a restaurant buried in a maze of hutongs.

"Hello," said the cabbie. He was a small, youngish man with a small round head and a goofy grin. "How are you?"

"Hey, your English is very good," I said. I was genuinely surprised. He didn't seem to have much of an accent.

"No English. Where are you from?"

"Meiguo," I responded. "I'm American."

"Ah, America. America number one." He shot his finger into the air and dodged a bicyclist. I could hear his accent now.

I laughed and nodded. I never really know how to respond to this. "Jia you ... zhongguo." I said. 'Go go ... China.' He grinned.

"No English." As he said this I started to wonder if he really knew English. Perhaps he was saying 'Know English.' Then he started to hum the Star Spangled Banner. My wife and her two friends chatted loudly in the back seat of the taxi, oblivious. I laughed a little and tried to recall the PRC national anthem which was heard so much just a month ago during the Olympics but I couldn't recall a single note. He fiddled with the radio a little. I could hear the voice of Hu Jintao, speaking clearly and convincingly about something.

"Democracy forever," the cabbie said. He smiled at me with a toothy grin and pumped his fist in the air.

"Maybe in the future," I muttered. I had been caught off guard and didn't know what to say in Chinese. He didn't seem to know what I was saying. I dumbly pointed ahead and repeated "Maybe in the future. Someday."

"No English," he said, looking confused. He shook his head. "No English."

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