Season 6 of "Game of Thrones" premiered on Sunday, and the Internet was predictably all aflutter.
I don't watch "Game of Thrones." This is partially because I haven't had HBO for many years. But, let's be real, if I really wanted to watch the show, I could have borrowed a friends HBO password.
Truthfully, I just don't care enough. I imagine this is the way people felt when "Breaking Bad" was hitting its stride. The conversations are about the same.
"You don't know what you're missing!"
The same can be said for literally anything I've never experienced. "You've never worn an active bee hive like a helmet?? You don't know what you're missing!"
"You like fantasy stuff, so I think you'd love it!"
You may as well have just said, "Wait, you love one thing?? Well, maybe you could love two things!"
"There's just nothing like it."
You just said if I liked one thing, then I'd probably like this other thing, essentially equating them. Now, you're telling me to abandon that line of thinking. Which is it??
"Anyone can die at any time."
That's called "the world as we know it."
"Kit Harington!" [swoon]
You're just saying an actor's name -- I don't know what that means. You're all flushed and sweating profusely. Are you OK?
"It's so raw: all the nudity, sex and violence!"
Well, golly-gee-whiskers, I sure hope my roommates at the nunnery don't mind me staying up past 7 p.m. to watch!
"Just set aside a weekend and get caught up!"
Or "Just deprive yourself of sunlight for two days!"
Listen, you "Game of Thrones" fans mean well, I know. But it's too late. Really, go on without me. I'll be fine. There's plenty of TV to watch out there.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go Netflix the same shows I've been watching for a decade.