No Labels Takes Out Ad In New York Times Advocating For Prom Seating At State Of The Union

Group's Interesting Seating Plan For State Of The Union

No Labels -- an organization that earnestly believes that all of America's problems are being caused by a deficit of niceness among Congresscritters -- really wants them to agree to bipartisan seating at the upcoming State Of The Union address. In fact, it's a matter of such pressing, high-priority importance that the group took it upon itself to place a full-page ad in The New York Times -- half of which is dominated by the word "Duh!" -- insisting that this happen.

The rest of the ad reads as follows: "Make Congress sit together. Not on opposite sides of the aisle, but actually together. Then they might work, together. And here’s another it for the State of the Union."

Yes, the whole bipartisan seating plan. Who among us can't remember that time in 2011, where in the wake of the Gabrielle Giffords shooting, your members of Congress, reaching for a way to prove to America that they really got it, man, agreed to set aside one, tiny, little, inconsquential difference and sit next to one another at the State of the Union, instead of sitting among their respective caucuses. Pretty soon, various lawmakers were asking each other out, as if it were junior prom, and the news filled up with story after story about who was taking who as their "date."

The plan was a terrific success, because if you recall, Congress totally didn't get bogged down months later in a pointless dispute over the debt ceiling, in which America's credit rating wasn't at all held hostage by a gang of lunatics who thought it was eminently reasonable to threaten the entire global economy with the imminent default on America's debt. Yes, we can all remember how the episode proved once and for all that prom seating at the State of the Union could successfully prevent a right-wing psychotic break that led to a downgraded credit rating and a delay in economic recovery.

No Labels' call for bipartisan seating comes after Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) called for more bipartisan seating arrangements. And truly, there could not be a better representative of the No Labels ethos of "everyone please be nice to each other" than Joe Manchin, the lawmaker so dedicated to mature political discourse and personal civility that he appeared in a campaign ad in which he literally shot a bill he didn't like with a gun. "It basically sends a strong signal to the people of America that we can not only work together but we can start by sitting together and sharing that type of camaraderie," said Manchin, whose idea of sending a strong signal is best exemplified by that time he fled Washington to attend an important Christmas party in order to avoid having to vote on the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell or the DREAM Act.

At any rate, that's No Labels: advocating for the bold ideas that have already been attempted and which didn't work anyway.

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