Recently, a patient of mine tearfully confided in me that her boyfriend told her she had plus-size lips compared to “others he’d seen online,” and that she really needed a more sexy-looking cooch. (He wasn’t talking about her mouth here ladies, he was talking about the appearance of her vagina.)
Here’s a concept for you. You know the saying, “No two snowflakes are exactly alike”? Well, the expression could just as easily refer to vaginas. There is no one right way for a vagina to look, which also means that there’s no such thing as a perfect one.
The labia, or lips—which vary from person to person—seem to be under the greatest scrutiny by my patients. The fact is that the two lips of the vagina are not identical on the same person. Just as our two eyes are not the same size, our ears, breasts, and lips of our labia are neither identical nor symmetrical. Likewise, a man’s testicles are not mirror images of each other, but we don’t comment on how pretty a man’s balls are, do we?
Maybe we should start a campaign: When yours are perfect, you can comment on mine!
You know what’s normal? Different is normal. The only qualities that make a vagina “perfect” are personal confidence and good health.
It’s also normal for women to be curious about the wonders of the vagina—everything from its smell and taste to its care and maintenance; from the subject of masturbation, orgasm, female sexual dysfunction, to gender equality in the bedroom!
The vagina revolution is a metaphor for females’ need to talk about their specific health care issues, issues that are so often ignored. There are very few places where women feel comfortable talking about their vaginas without feeling judged, so at the very least, a doctor’s office should be a bastion of comfort. Unfortunately, this is usually not the case. Sadly, the conversation with your doctor or health care provider probably goes something like this: “Are you having any problems with your period? Any menopausal issues? Okay, great, now scooch down.”
In the blink of an eye the visit and conversation is over. Wham, bam, thank you, Ma’am!
There are so many issues that women need to discuss about their healthcare that has nothing to do with pap smears, periods and menopause. Aside from the sensitive issues of painful sex, inability to have an orgasm, vaginal dryness with sex, and vagina insecurity, there are other difficult subjects linked to the vagina like depression, anxiety, and hormone imbalance.
Recently I appeared on Hulu/FreeformTV’s Truth & Iliza, which allows for a more open and creative conversation. The entire show was based on the vagina and all its glory. Iliza Shlesinger, a well-known standup comedian and host of the show, even dressed up as a vagina during the show! She was brilliant, forward-thinking, and brave to go where no one else dares to go…Online TV will lead the way with the vagina revolution. Iliza called me a “Vagina Crusader” when she introduced me, but the truth is she is the one holding the torch for the vagina.
The Vagina Revolution is on, and it will take the likes of Iliza, Lena, and the millennial generation to be the foot soldiers.
This new administration has sparked the “pussy generation” which has been great for the Vagina Revolution—pink hats and all! Trump’s saying “Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything,” should piss women off! We all need to change the narrative on how we talk about our bodies and our vagina’s….especially Trump!
This is the year of the Vagina, in one way or another. Viva la revolution!