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Nobody Said It Was Easy

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.....Is a line of a song from one of my all-time favourite bands; Coldplay.

It's also words that keep reverberating around my brain at the moment.

Terrible Two's.

Of course I'd heard all about the stage in a toddlers development often referred to as this. Did I think it was an actual thing? Well, if you'd have asked me a few months ago I'd have told you there was no way my angelic little babe would go through such a phase. He's far too chilled out for all that malarkey.

Naïve eh?

Well, let me tell you now, as I find myself lost in the midst of the terrible two's, it most definitely is a thing! It's a thing I've been faced with every single day since the beginning of the year and longer!

As I said, prior to my son turning 2, he was the most easy going little boy. As a baby he rarely ever cried and slept through the night from 11 weeks old. I could take him anywhere and unless he was a little under the weather, he would be an absolute delight. Fast forward a year or 2 and things couldn't be different.

Shopping with a two year old is akin to walking through the gates of hell. It's something, that unless I'm feeling particularly confident or it's an absolute necessity, I won't even attempt. It's just not worth it.

Yesterday, I had tantrums galore in the Apple store while trying to get my broken phone fixed (bring back Nokia 3310's) and an attempted shoplifting twice.

My little boy's favourite thing to do at the moment is to throw himself down on the floor, in a public space and create. Luckily for me, I don't embarrass easily. However, trying to prise an unpaid for packet of Popchips out of his hand in the middle of Starbucks yesterday which led to him screaming the place down and throwing himself on the floor in front of a couple of giggling teenagers wasn't exactly the way I'd like to spend a Thursday afternoon.

I'll often find myself naively thinking that today will be the day there will be no tantrums. My son will walk the short distance from pre-school back to my Mum's without dropping to his knees and demanding I pick him up (he's so heavy, I actually can't feel my arms come the end of a short journey where I've assumed the role of packhorse).

Time out is a method of discipline we've been trying to implement lately. With varying results. If we're at my Mum's house and a spot of Time Out is necessary he will throw everything out of his travel cot, to include the mattress. Where he's so strong, he is able to move the cot across the laminated floor (while he's in it) to get to where he wants. Cue more throwing items off of shelves. It soon becomes apparent that this procedure just isn't going to work and Time Out is soon declared over.

Of course, I hope know it's just a phase and it won't be like this forever. The fact my son can't talk very well doesn't help proceedings, often leaving him frustrated that he is unable to communicate with me and other family members properly and I really do feel for him. Except, perhaps, when I've been on the receiving end of a hand to the face or a kick to the leg - proper strong these little people mind aren't they!

I've never been the most relaxed of individuals nor someone who has a bottomless amount of patience. However, one thing I have noticed in myself is that my patience levels have increased over the last few months. Every cloud eh? I guess they have to when you're faced with a 'Twoligan' screaming in your face eyeing up potential things he can throw across the room (or at you). Perhaps I could refer to it as character building.

If there's one word I'm sick of hearing at the moment then that would be no. Everything is no. Unless, of course I ask him whether he would like a chocolate. I get a big fat YES coupled with a cheesy grin then!

Ironically, it's also a word he hates too. "No, you may not pull every single book out of the book case and scatter them across the floor for the umpteenth time today" or "No you may not throw your Grandmothers knickers into the cats litter tray".

If this behaviour is to continue for the remainder he is 2 then I am in for a rather interesting 8 months. Does anyone have any tips on dealing with the incredibly demanding conduct of a 2 year old? Please tell me there's light at the end of this dark and seemingly never ending tunnel?!

Will I ever be able to step in foot Starbucks again? Safe in the knowledge I won't have a potential shoplifting incident on my hands?

Pass me the wine. Oh and did I mention I'm giving up smoking in little over 6 weeks time? Glutton for punishment me.