The stakes are always high when you introduce your parents to a new boyfriend or girlfriend ― but let’s be honest: The stakes are especially high when you’re introducing a non-Asian significant other to traditional Asian parents.
Below, 22 things that are bound to happen before, during and after the big meeting.
1. Your S.O. will be grilled for the entire duration of the visit.
2. You will be grilled about S.O. at length before the visit.
3. Your parents might start bragging about your SAT scores and Mozart-level piano skills. What’s life without a little friendly competition, amiright?
4. They’ll tell your entrepreneurial bae that working at a startup is cool and all but it’s not law, medicine or engineering, is it?
5. Your parents will remind you of that smart, Yale graduate doctor your auntie has tried to set you up with since you were, like five.
6. The event will induce panicking for a full week beforehand for all parties involved.
7. You’ll feel compelled to butter your parents up beforehand by saying your S.O. is a “very serious and goal-oriented person.”
8. For bonus points ^^ you might mention their high school GPA.
9. You may have to remind your partner to take off their shoes when they enter the house ― next to the lineup of Reeboks, flip flops and assorted slippers by the door.
10. Your parents will not be impressed by his or her ~hobbies~. Sorry, but your boyfriend’s passion for podcasts is basically a non-starter.
11. Your S.O. will marvel at the stack of coupons on the counter. You’re thrifty, too, but your parents are next level.
12. They’ll probably wear Asian b***hy resting face the whole time.
13. As usual, they’ll talk about that one cousin who got into an Ivy League and continues to outdo you in every way possible.
14. At some point, your boyfriend/girlfriend may ask why your mom is yelling, when in fact, she’s just talking.
15. One thing’s for sure: Your S.O. is going to eat well tonight. From curry and dumplings, to bibimbap and amazing seafood, Asians know how to eat.
16. When your parents give you an update on your aunties and uncles, you’ll have to explain to your partner that everyone you’ve known since birth is an auntie or uncle. That’s just how we do.
17. Mom and dad will be mildly impressed if your S.O. can whip out some phrases in your native language. Keyword: Mildly.
18. If you’re meeting at a restaurant and extended family is there, tell your partner to expect a major fight over who gets to pay the bill. It’s an honor and a privilege to pay, OK?
19. If you’re at home and your S.O. volunteers to do the dishes, they will learn that the dishwasher is, in fact, a drying rack.
20. They’ll refrain, but you’ll see in your parents’ eyes they want to ask hardball questions you may not have even discussed yet ― like how you’ll raise your kids. 😬
21. They might ask beforehand if your new guy or girl does drugs. Awkward.
22. But eventually, your parents will come around and overfeed your S.O. ― just like they do you!