This baby boy met Hillary Rodham Clinton on October 31, 1996. He is voting for the first time in this presidential election.
Not A Token: Women in Leadership
After officiating at the wedding, as we walked into the reception a man stopped me and asked, "So when's the real wedding?"
"What?" I asked, confused.
"The real wedding, when is it official?"
After speaking a bit further with the man, I realized he didn't think the wedding I'd just officiated was for real because I was a woman. This was not the first time this happened. There was the hospital security person who didn't believe I was a pastor, when I was visiting an ill parishioner. There was the time I was "uninvited" to officiate a wedding because it had been presumed Rev. Baller-Shepard was a man. The list goes on.
But, times are changing. Clergy portrayed on TV or in movies are often female. Sure, anyone can go on-line to become ordained in five minutes, but this uptick in the portrayal of clergywomen in the background in leadership roles? I'm happy it's mainstream. This October I celebrated twenty-five years of ordained ministry, while the Presbyterian Church (USA) celebrated sixty years of ordaining women into leadership positions as clergy.
When I was in college, it took a long time before I found another female religion major at the University of Iowa. Then, I started seminary having never seen a woman do any of the things I was training to do: baptisms, burials, weddings, communion. I felt called to ministry, so it all felt natural. However, I was told early on to look as androgynous as possible, to not let my femaleness stand out. I wanted to be chosen for employment because I was the right person for the job, not because I was a woman. Tokenism was not charming, nor welcome to me.
I think of all this as we as a nation consider the possibility of a woman in the oval office, POTUS as a she.
Once a man said to me, after I'd been hired at a new job, "I don't respect your leadership, I don't believe in women as leaders over men." I valued his honesty and I appreciated him telling me this to my face, it meant we could continue this conversation.
Yet, the rhetoric this campaign season on the national stage has been harsh. I've been reminded of those old days, when I was first ordained, the pressures I felt to conform, even though I'd never fully conform because I was a woman and not a man, my leadership would invariably be different because of my gender. I believed, and I still believe, I was the right one for the work I took on. I believe I was hired because I had the skill set needed, I'd excelled in academics, I'd done my homework, and I was not easily deterred. I believed, and I still believe, I was hired because I was the right one for the job, not because I was a female.
How will the language around Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign play out as this election season draws to an end? In hindsight, will people talk about her as the right candidate for the job, or the right woman candidate. Barack Obama faced this, as the first African American president. Being "the first" means you have to work extra hard just to be seen as "fit" for whatever job it is you're going for. Watch the language.
We can all agree, at the end of the day, that the seat in the Oval Office is an important one to occupy, and the one warming that seat needs to be a skilled leader. The one sitting there needs to be the right one for the office.