Not Down To Lunch

I got a message from my publicist today. It was from 1am but I read it at about 5:15am. It was something about an app called Down To Lunch (DTL). It read "Hey Uncle Louie, are you down to have lunch?" or something like that. So, half asleep, I clicked the link (like an idiot) and downloaded the app to my iPhone. The app, unbeknownst to me, then proceeded to message everybody in my contacts, inviting over 4,000 people to have lunch with me. It texted them using whatever name was in my contacts for them (I am sure some are not becoming).

The app asked a close friend's former spouse to have lunch and drinks with me. Dear "so and so's x-wife" the message read, "Uncle Louie would like to have dinner and drinks with you". Needless to say, she texted him, he texted me and I found humor in it. She thought it was some kind of a sex app. I got worried (for a second) that it was.

Next, the app texted my x-wife's sister. Today happened to be her birthday. The message asked if she would join Uncle Louie for lunch today. Her Uncle Louie, who was her favorite uncle, is no longer living. She called my x-wife, hysterically crying. My x-wife explained to her that Uncle Louie had invited her too. She finally realized it was not a lunch invite from heaven. More good comedy. Although I was sad to hear she was crying. Hopefully she laughed afterwards. I did.

Then there was "Chavo the Mexican Warrior", a former WWE Wrestling Star. Let's just say he wasn't too excited at the Uncle Louie lunch invite.


Apparently at about 7am, I also invited my friend Eddie to times. I sent a tweet to let everybody know that I was sorry for all the lunch invites!

Come to think of it, since everybody in my contact list got a lunch invite, I am wondering why I didn't get more text messages confirming. Michael Strahan, too busy for lunch?!

Maybe this app was a subtle reminder to reach out to people I haven't connected with in a while. Even if just to say hello. Perhaps technology wa accidentally telling me to get back to basics. Ask old friends how they are. I think I'll do it the old fashion way; not with a tweet or a text, and definitely not with this DTL app. Maybe with a phone call. I'm down for that but I am not Down to Lunch!