Note to a Married Man

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Dear Sir:

On reflection, given the circumstances to which you are wedded, I must decline your offer to recline, as I feel it is neither prudent nor gracious, and I choose not to do to another--even though she would remain, as you claim and insist, ignorant--that which has been so cruelly done to me in the past. At some point things become suspected if not known, and I should not like to be grain of salt that tips the scales, nor the cause of said homophone falling from your wife's trusting eyes.

My apologies should you feel you have been misled. While your attention and admiration are indeed flattering--especially to my baser, vain and shallow nature--I've no need nor desire to frolic yet again with an even more accomplished adulterer.

As that seems to be your only interest in me, it would be wise that we discontinue correspondence. To further proceed is not in either of our interests, and you may be better able to cultivate someone with less conscience more suited to your whims elsewhere.

Good luck in all your future affairs.