Obama Happens: A Cautionary Tale for Perfect Little Hillarys Everywhere

Gather around, little ones, I have a story to tell you. It is a cautionary tale about a perfect little girl who had a seemingly perfect little plan.

The perfect girl was named Hillary and her plan was to become President of the United States. So, after joining the World's Most Exclusive Club, she set out to do everything her head -- and her consultants -- told her was right.

She learned the rules of the Club, and followed them closely. She reached across the aisle and brought home the bacon for her constituents back home.

She posed for smiling photo-ops with Bill Frist, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum.

She backed a bill criminalizing flag burning, came out against violent video games, signed on to President Bush's missile defense plan, shifted her language on abortion, and became a bellicose backer of the war in Iraq -- convinced that the country isn't ready for a female Commander-in-Chief who isn't a hawk.

She dutifully sharpened the points of her triangulation strategy, decorating her rhetoric in red state-friendly shades. She was careful, oh so careful, and aimed to please -- never saying anything that would get her in trouble.

She also quietly and methodically began building her campaign team -- surrounding herself with a gaggle of advisers and consultants, raising millions of dollars (and lining up a top-flight national finance director to help her raise millions more), reaching out to power brokers in her home state, and sending out press releases through the New York Times.

She even hired a netroots pro to harness the energy of the Internet and help her win the favor of the blogosphere.

With Democrats on the rise, her perfect plan seemed to be working out perfectly.

And then suddenly, unexpectedly, came a rumbling in the distance. A rumbling caused by a boy named Barack. Indications are that before the year is out, Barack will officially be in.

All at once, a surge of enthusiasm and support for the boy named Barack is threatening to ruin all of the girl named Hillary's perfect plans -- like sand castles being washed away by a rising tide.

So, my little ones, what is the lesson to be learned from this tale?

That you might as well speak your mind and do what is in your heart because you never know what waits around the corner -- what unforeseen forces are headed your way.

As the poet tells us, the best-laid plans of mice and men -- and perfect little girls -- often go awry. And, man oh man, are they ever going awry for Hillary.

Well, you know what they say: Obama Happens.