For Democrats, the worst thing that could’ve happened has happened: A lying reality TV host who lost the popular vote will control the nuclear codes come January.
Considering that, we propose the current government appease the millions of Americans who now wake up hopeless and terrified by legalizing the recreational use of marijuana in all 50 states ― effective immediately. Guam and Puerto Rico, too, sure. Whatever.
No fine. No criminalization. Just give us the weed before it’s too late, Barry!
Terms of Proposition:
- All Americans may engage in recreational marijuana use at any time.
- Workers may take weed breaks at work similar to cigarette breaks.
- Profits from weed sales goes toward making better movies and funding space travel.
- New weed smokers receive recreational leave exactly like maternity leave to find the strand that works for them. Some people like a head-high, whereas we dig the body stuff.
- We can claim “money Ben owes for blunts” on our taxes.
Now, according to Schoolhouse Rock, a bill becomes a law in the U.S. when somebody writes it and has their representative bring it up in Congress, where it needs to pass the House of Representatives and the Senate before being signed into effect by the president.
Well, we only have a couple months! So we’ve written up this bill and sent it to our representatives in New York:
If, by some chance this doesn’t get through and President Obama (feels good to say that!) doesn’t read this article, it’ll be up to you to get weed legalized in your state.
Find and contact your Congressperson on the House of Representatives’ website.
In the meantime, here’s something to inspire you. Let’s get rolling.