Obama Wins Family Monopoly Game: Sparks Right Wing Outrage

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced this morning that the President and his family played a game of monopoly in the White House kitchen this past Sunday, which the President won. Reaction from the right was instantaneous and vitriolic.

Bill O'Reilly decried the callousness with which the President of the United States would treat the real estate crisis as "just some game" when so many Americans are losing their homes to foreclosure, showing how out-of-touch he is with the concerns of regular folks, and once again showing his imperiousness as he "fiddles while Rome burns."

Similarly outraged, Glenn Beck demonstrated on a blackboard how the President's buying Short Line, Pennsylvania, B & O Railroads and the Electric Company were a clear indication of his Socialist plot for a complete government takeover of industry, not to mention the obvious land-grabbing in the game itself. Beck noted that the building of houses and hotels on properties such as Park Place clearly showed the President's intention to place SRO hotels and substandard public housing in upscale neighborhoods, inevitably leading to class warfare and revolution, as outlined in Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto.

Sean Hannity questioned the President's victory in the game, itself, insinuating that perhaps it was indicative of shady financial dealings, particularly in the purchase of Illinois Avenue, which is "of course, the result one would expect when you're dealing with Chicago politics, payoffs, bribes and cronyism."

The hosts of Morning Joe pondered if the President truly understood the depth of the economic crisis facing this nation, in that he had no problem spending his time gambling in the White House while the country was facing financial ruin. And of course, there was concern over the President's winnings. The Press Secretary noted that there was no actual gambling, and the game involved play money which all went back into the box when the game was over, sparking accusations from Pat Buchanan of "redistribution of wealth" and of "killing the American entrepreneurial spirit that made this country great," along with the fact that each player collecting 200 dollars every time they went around the board amounted to little more than a "welfare program that we can ill afford when the government is up to its neck in a deficit that will cripple the economy for generations to come."

Rush Limbaugh's fury was so uncontrollable that, unable to speak, he simply turned red with rage, inflated to twice his size, blew out the veins in his head, exploded, and crapped out Lou Dobbs, who proceeded to rant about the dangers of illegal aliens getting out of jail free and draining the Community Chest.