Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the main event!
In the red corner, topping out at 270 pounds in pregnancy, the bionic baby-maker, a 14-round champ on the birthing table -- eight times in one amazing swoop -- Nadya "The Octomom" Suleman!
In the blue corner, weighing in at ... well who cares she's really really tan ... a woman so tough not even UV rays can penetrate her. The crispy creamer! The epidermal apocalypse! Give it up for Patricia "Tanning Mom" Krentcil!
In an exclusive interview with HuffPost Weird News, the mom now famous for denying that she brought her 6-year-old daughter into a tanning booth challenged quite possibly the most infamous mother on the planet -- Octomom -- to a couple rounds in the ring. Finally.
Patricia Krentcil -- who's now on the road to better skin after a bout with the law and the media earlier this year -- told HuffPost that she could destroy Nadya Suleman in a celebrity boxing match.
"I could beat her," Krentcil said, holding up her fists. "But I'd probably break a nail. And these nails are moneymakers."
Those are fighting words coming from a boxing amateur. Suleman, on the other hand, has spent plenty of time donning giant boxing gloves and fighting other VIPs in Celebrity Boxing.
The Octomom boxing craze was so popular, it got out of hand. Last month, CEO Damon Feldman announced that Suleman was banned from Celebrity Boxing because her agent "owes people money and doesn't want to pay."
Suleman, a mother of 14, was left without yet another job after her attempt at pornography got bad reviews.
But Feldman told HuffPost today that he'd temporarily release Suleman from the ban should the most epic battle since Tyson vs. Holyfield -- Tanning Mom vs. Octomom -- go down.
"I would love to see this match -- it would be amazing," Feldman said. "Personally I think Octomom would win. She's in great shape. She works out two, three hours a day. She's a physical woman. But Tanning Mom would be interesting, she'd be a personality and would be competitive."
Alas, the match is just out of reach. Suleman hung up when HuffPost Weird called for comment. But Feldman vowed to make it happen, some day.
His odds for the match?
"Two-to-one Octomom, but it's boxing, you never know."
What do you think?