Of Orgies and Dream Teams (or How to Survive the Trumpocalypse)

I have a confession. My wife Kate hates orgies. There, I said it. She hates orgies - doesn't care for them, doesn't want to participate in them, isn't orgy curious - just generally not a fan of orgies.

Kate's primary concern with orgies is that the people she expects would participate would not be of the highest, how do you say... quality. But that got Kate thinking - what if she could choose which people would be in the orgy? So a few years ago, Kate came up with the idea of an Orgy Dream Team™ - essentially a list of people she would need to be involved in the orgy for her to want to participate. Alexander Skarsgård, Idris Elba, and Hud-era Paul Newman all feature highly on any orgy dream team she would want to field. The roster changes frequently, often based on which vampire show she happens to be watching at the moment.

Around the same time, Kate started thinking about other dream teams that might come in handy. And, because she'd been watching a lot of Doomsday Preppers and we got hit by a summer storm that knocked out power in our neighborhood, Kate thought it extremely important to start putting together her Apocalypse Dream Team™.

Kate's apocalypse dream team would be filled with people who had skills or provisions that would be helpful in warding off marauding hordes and/or surviving for extended periods after societal collapse. Candidates include our neighbor across the street who has a generator, a neighbor down the block who is an avid hunter and one of the few progressives we know with a formidable arsenal, another who stockpiles food, etc. In an ironic twist of fate, Kate informed me early on that I might not make the cut (she couldn't see what value I would bring to the team). It is a cross I have to bear. Also, inexplicably, there's been a lot of overlap between the people on Kate's orgy dream team and apocalypse dream team, an interesting window into how Kate plans to spend the apocalypse. But I digress.

The problem with the apocalypse dream team is that you never know which apocalypse you're planning for until it's upon you. A dream team ideally suited for a zombie apocalypse requires very different skill sets than, say, global financial collapse or Trump presidency. Further, you have no idea which people will rise to the challenge of the apocalypse and exceed expectations. Remember that before the zombie apocalypse, Glenn was a pizza delivery driver, Maggie was a farmer's daughter, Ezekiel was a zookeeper. None of them exhibited special abilities you might think would be needed to survive a zombie apocalypse, yet each managed to survive because they had the skills and qualities (and in Ezekiel's case, the tiger) needed for the apocalypse they faced and the group they were a part of. In other apocalypses (appocalypsi? apocalypsia?), things may have been different.

So where am I going with this?

On January 20th, we will inaugurate the most reactionary, xenophobic, racist, sexist, anti-semitic, incompetent and corrupt president and administration we've had in recent history. Trump and his supporters' stated goals are to prey on the least powerful among us to generate a massive transfer of wealth to the 1%. Trump has majority support in both houses of Congress, making stopping his agenda by conventional means unlikely.

Given what we've seen so far, I feel comfortable in making the following declaration: the Trump apocalypse is upon us.

So what to do? If you're like me, facing the Trumpocalypse has been a three-step process. Step 1: sit and wallow in inconsolable anger, depression and misery. Step 2: drink a tremendous amount of liquor - like seriously, an extraordinary, unprecedented amount of liquor. But then, and this is the most important part - Step 3: start preparing for the fight to win our country back.

"But Bob," you may be saying, "What can I do to stop Trump? I'm just one person, and I have a job and family and obligations and who has the time to sit around in a bunch of meetings and go to rallies and besides, I'm not an activist, I've never done anything like this before, this kind of thing isn't even my bag, baby, and even if it was, where would I start, who would I contact, what would I do???"

Well...

The first thing to remember on the road to Trumpocaliberation™ is that the threat is so broad and so deep, touching everything and everyone in the country on so many levels, that chances are whatever you're concerned about, Trump and his agenda will fuck it, repetitively and completely. Concerned about the environment? Trump's EPA head doesn't believe in climate change and wants to make regulations more business friendly. Fucked. Concerned about choice? Trump wants to defund Planned Parenthood and pick Supreme Court justices that will overturn Roe vs. Wade. Fucked. Minimum wage? Trump doesn't believe in it. Obamacare? Getting rid of it. Muslims? Registering them. Immigrants? Deporting them. Fucked fucked fucked fucked, both individually and collectively (so fucked one last time).

But what this means is that however you want to plug in, whatever issue you care most about and want to work on, however you want to be a wrench in the Trump machine, you'll be helping the cause of sticking it to Trump and his hateful agenda.

And another thing - you don't need to waste your time and talents; whatever skills you have, you can put them to use in service of the cause of taking down Trump. Graphic designers and writers? We need posters and signs and materials and propaganda. Artists, musicians, dancers? Start using your work as a platform for change to move and touch and influence people in ways that words cannot. Or maybe you know a lot about social media, or cell phones, or communications, or A/V equipment, or sourcing supplies. Or you're a doctor, scientist, engineer, photographer, logistics professional, programmer, finance professional, chef, driver, or have lots of surplus cash - we need everyone. Don't see a clear fit with the talent you've got to offer, ask around. Be creative. Remember that Republican agitators in Project Veritas were able to bring down ACORN, a national network of community organizations doing incredible work helping low-income families, with nothing more than a pimp coat, a camera and video editing equipment. Sure, they were sickeningly dishonest, manipulative liars and generally massive assholes, but imagine if that creativity was harnessed for good instead of evil.

For the final step, start gathering your crew (because once you've got two or more people, it's a conspiracy!). If ever there was a time to start putting together your Trumpocalypse Dream Team™, that time is now. Who's on your team? Who do you want on your side helping you grind the Trump agenda to a standstill? Who shares your views, or has special skills that could be useful, or is someone you want to be there when the shit goes down?

As an exercise in movement building (and to see if anyone's actually read this far), I invite you to link below to two or three people you would definitely want on your Trumpocalypse dream team, people you would want to work with, or commiserate with, or secretly plot to undermine the charade of the Trump presidency with, or plug in to other anti-Trump activities with.

This is just the beginning. Trumpocaliberation is coming.

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