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Office Fascists, Internet Dating Tips And Boys' Brains

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Q: My father-in-law is in his mid-70s but seems to be having problems with his memory, the whole family has noticed it but no one wants to say anything. It's probably Alzheimer's right? -Worried Daughter in Law

A: It could be vascular dementia which results from a series of small strokes or changes in the brain's blood supply (whereas Alzheimer's is a brain disease characterized by lesions that gradually destroy cells in the brain). Less common forms of dementia are: Pick's Disease, Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, Huntington's Disease, Parkinson's Disease, or Lewy Body Disease. Getting him evaluated as soon as possible is critical for treatment.

Q: My boyfriend insists his brain is bigger than mine. Is that true? -Boston Brainiac

A: Yes, however, men and women have the same number of brain cells. The cells are just packed more densely in women. Read The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine - one of my favorite books ever.

Q: I'm a guy who wants to put a profile on a dating site. What should I say in it? I'm new at this and don't want to come off like an idiot. - Internet Idiot, New Jersey

A: 1. Size up the competition. Yes, this means check out what other guys have written (and no, it won't make you gay). Too many men write their profiles without having read other profiles first and they end up thinking they are being really witty when they're really just regurgitating every online dating cliché ("Wow, so hard to summarize myself in this box" or "I like going out for fancy dinners and just renting a movie and sitting on the couch"). Don't try to hard to be funny--the humor doesn't usually come across. And please, please, spell check before you post.

2. Avoid generalizations. We all like movies, food, vacations, etc. Try: your your all-time favorite sexy movie scene is Salma Hayek tango dancing with Ashley Judd in Frida, gnocchi rocks, and the beaches in Croatia are fantastic.

3. Post a clear straightforward picture. Think mugshot, passport, headshot--no hat or sunglasses. We don't care if you can catch fish (no matter how big they are), ride a jetski and don't really want to see the picture of you rock-climbing in Arizona. We want a full body picture, hopefully next to something that will give us a size reference. And even if that picture with your ex lopped??? WC out is the best one ever - the dismembered hand over the shoulder is a dead giveaway. We don't want to be that girl. You and your dog is better.

Q: I thought I just got a nice simple "clock in, clock out" 9 to 5 job, but today I ran into the office manager. She's a Nazi control freak that keeps everything under lock and key and lives to keep the place running according to rules. No one can stand her, but she is especially irritating to me. I have to fill out a form to get another stapler and can't eat "snacks that might break into fine particles and encourage varmints" in my cubicle. I'd like to start a revolution or at least put few cogs in her well-oiled machine. Thoughts? - Can't be controlled, Philly

A: I'm not sure who needs to get a life more, you or her. You just got a simple 9-5 job you can punch out of - have the evenings to yourself, weekends, sick days....Don't make this your raison d'etre. This office is this woman's life, her reason for living - don't make it yours. Put a chain on your stapler, eat your goldfish crackers in the hallway and be thankful you didn't have a mom who was super punitive when it came too potty training.