Old Is the New Black; BDSM, the New Gay

Blindfolding with a silk scarf? Wrists bound to the bedpost while whip cream or ice is run along the innocent captive? "Rough" sex? A slight squeeze of your lover's throat? Just a soft one?
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Being human is sublime. The ability to reason and feel emotion definitely blows my skirt up and makes me grateful The Great Spirits chose to birth my breath into this particular animal form.

Sadly, though, there is a serious downside to this intellect-emotion body: ego. The notion of separateness. And the ego seems passionately devoted to pounding that delusion of separateness into our hearts and minds so that we hate anyone who is not like us because we fear their difference will be our downfall, when, in fact, the opposite is true. Other people's wonderfully unique nuances are our soul's education and light source. They are our uprising, not our undoing.

But the hate bully born from the fearful voices of our friends, parents, schools, media, and spiritual teachers, who are terrified of not being accepted for who they are and what they feel, has historically body and mind-snatched our higher internal judgment and convinced us there are a right people and a wrong people. A people to love and a people to hate.

It needs to end once and for all, because as of now, we are merely transferring the baton from one ridiculed group to the next every so often, absolving ourselves of inaction by doing so, and claiming evolution of equality and tolerance when, in fact, that is a lie and we are comfortably dying from the cancer at the source which remains untreated and more ferocious than ever.


As if black people and homosexuals had not been mistreated enough by the bigoted fascists of our country over the past 200 years, recently they had to endure the penultimate blow.

No longer being the number one most hated peoples. (Non-criminal, of course.)

For blacks, this crushing blow was memorialized in the autumn of 2008. When polled, a vast majority of Americans said they would rather vote for, as president of our country, the most powerful person in the world, a young black man (who was even accused of being a Muslim sympathizer, and in our world accused means guilty, especially with young black men) than an old white man, who happened to also be an established, well-liked war hero. That signified the changing of the hate guard in the most absolute terms.

At that moment, the major news organizations, the truth makers, had announced loud and clear; old is the new black.

I remember it well. I was on a sit-down bike at the gym and the sadness was palpable. It was as if the hum of the workout machines was replaced by the sound of tears being shed by the nation's black people, devastated they were no longer at the top of the sociopath's "most reviled" heap.

But wait, what was that noise that seemed to be supplanting the ocean of black sadness? Gay cheers? Gay people all over the country were wildly expressing their joy at the promise of soon taking over the number one spot of hatred by America's ignorant.

Old people, while valiant in their attempt to retain their new crown, would be too weak to fight off the tidal wave of support for the new impending kings of the lowest: homosexuals.

And so it came to pass. As quickly as the white-hairs rose to power was as quickly as they retreated back to their bingo games, replaced by the gays.

But, alas, the past three years has been good to the gays -- which has made their tenure fragile, and ripe for hostile takeover. Ever more acceptance by the mainstream, evidenced by the passage of gay marriage, integration of openly gay co-workers, family members, friends, entertainment stars, and gay-themed TV and movie successes have all conspired to put the gays one solid far-right-cross away from a TKO.

And, sadly, the weight of the gay successes has been too much to bear and while they have fought bravely, they have finally succumbed.

Homosexuals are no longer the anti-Christs. That prestigious honor now resides with a new rising star that has seemingly come out of nowhere: BDSM. SICK FUCKS -- THE NEW NUMBER ONES.

(Since people interested in BDSM are such a new group, there hasn't yet been an adequate hate-acronym given them. "Shit eating-fake Cock sucking-Foot licking-Cross dressing-Kinky Sleazebags" is catchy and adequately pejorative. Hopefully it will catch on.)

Those disgusting, deviant, deranged sickos, who are probably all old black-loving gays too. Wait. Old people, blacks and gays are okay now, I forgot. Okay, well, everything else said about them must be true.

And the really exciting thing is, this new hero group of Devil-Titans, has the vitriolic support of not only the right but now even the left. That's why this new group of lepers may become a super power of the demonized, the likes we might never see again. Their reign might go on for hundreds of years and may even rival the blacks' great run.

If you don't believe me, and feel this neophyte clan of perverts isn't nearly strong enough to take over the top spot from the gays, just give this test to your right-wing friends. And as I said, since this new leader of the worst people on earth cuts across party lines, cementing their place as an impenetrable strain of filth, you can unprecedentedly also give the same test to your liberal friends too. Its result will convince you unequivocally and remove all reasonable doubt.

Q: "Who would you LEAST want to babysit your six-year-old daughter?"

1 -- A nice smart 75-year-old white man.

2 -- A nice smart young black man.

3 -- A nice smart gay man.

4 -- A nice smart straight man that likes to have girls fuck him in the ass with a strap-on dick occasionally. (A Sick Fuck.)

Right. Most would pick number 4.


BDSM-themed porn, toys, Pro Dominatrices, Transsexual Escorts and Tranny Porn (I have included our transgender friends as a subgroup of BDSM since many of their admirers fetishize them) is a multimillion-dollar industry that is not propelled mainly by homosexuals or closeted straight men.

Gay men want to have sex with other real-man penises, not women with fake plastic penises strapped to their body.

So the vast majority of clients of this multimillion-dollar industry are straight men and women. Millions and millions of straight men and women. Period.

And unlike some fetishes and BDSM practices which, granted, may be more unique among the masses, lighter or "vanilla" BDSM games are being enjoyed by most adults in America at some point of their lives, whether they give it that name or not.

A light spank or innocent "naughty secretary" role-play between husband and wife? Nipples being squeezed just a little too hard? Lingering looks at girls' feet in flip-flops? Blindfolding with a silk scarf? Wrists bound to the bedpost while whip cream or ice is run along the innocent captive? "Rough" sex? A slight squeeze of your lover's throat? Just a soft one?

If you added all the blacks, gays and old people together you still wouldn't come close to the amount of people who dabble in some kind of "non traditional" sexual practice, which makes it, well, not only traditional but also makes those who enjoy those practices by far the biggest hated "minority" group ever. Which is ironic, since this "minority" is in fact the majority.

We all have the same secret.

But sadly, most people's desires are kept secret for fear of their being branded a witch. A member of the most lecherous. And branded as such by the people closest to them -- their family, friends, bosses -- and most sadly, their God, thus resulting in loss of love and loss of employment. Banishment from society and humanity.

The behavior that is a result of the fear of the shaming-if-exposed, which forces the secret to remain inside, is far more destructive to our interpersonal relationships with family, loved ones and co-workers than anyone cares to imagine. It spawns lying, cheating, and self-hatred which manifests in hatred of society. As with all repression, it will be the downfall of our civilization if not eradicated.

A heavy price to pay just for secretly wanting to feel silk panties against your skin under your overalls or wishing your boyfriend would pretend to be an intruder who takes advantage of you, don't you think?

Schaeffer's most recent film, After Fall, Winter, is set in Paris and captures the mystery of a couple dealing with issues of intimacy and truth. The film is now available on Cable VOD and iTunes via @FilmBuff. Eric Schaeffer (@mrericschaeffer) lives and works in New York City.