Wellness

On the Exhausted Topic of 'Having It All'

Let's support each other -- lend a helping hand. Judge less. Often what we think about someone is just an illusion, half truths. It takes a village to raise a woman.
02/26/2016 02:30pm ET | Updated February 26, 2017

I've been reading a lot lately on "having it all." I am putting health aside for a moment, because we all know without good health (mental or other), you ain't got it all.

But here's what I think on having it all, the topic that is choked to death: If you are a woman in a position to be able to not have to work, and that satisfies you, then you can have it all. You can work out of love of work (part to full time), volunteer, take up a hobby that interests you, be there for the kids, and there is no financial pressure.

BUT, if you are a woman who HAS to work, I don't believe you can have it all. Something usually has to give. Either your career is flying and you're making great money but quality time with yourself, yes yourself, the kids, your partner and girlfriends usually suffers (keeping it real), or you're making less money in favor of greater work-life balance, but you sacrifice finances to be there for your kids. Or, you are like most women in North America, and many of the women I life coach (overworked, just getting by, feeling overwhelmed by career and motherhood). Definitely not the picture of having it all.

I honestly think something has to give -- there is no free lunch. When I go through bouts of quiet spots at work, my personal life thrives (kids, marriage, me time), but my finances obviously take a dip, and when I'm busy with a lot of booked projects, it is more financially fruitful yes, but I can become overwhelmed and less patient.

In my humble opinion, WOMEN WHO ARE WORKING OUT OF NECESSITY AND NOT AS AN OPTION, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, CAN'T HAVE IT ALL. So let's support each other -- lend a helping hand. Judge less. Often what we think about someone is just an illusion, half truths. It takes a village to raise a woman.

I would like to also close by saying, this is just a truth as I know it through my own lens, my own fifteen years as a certified life coach. I'm trying to break illusions many of us hold as truths and then feel badly about ourselves and wonder, "Well, if she has it all, why don't I?

And finally, I will say to you, no matter where you fit on the spectrum above, believing you have it all, means you do. Gratitude is always the attitude.

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