From the sounds of the guns and from underneath the rubble of our homes, we see hope emerging. As much as they try to kill our spirit, they will fail because we are a people that know how to enjoy life. They tried to bury us by besieging our bodies and our thoughts. They tried burying us, but they did not know that we are seeds – our roots are so deep that they will not be able to uproot us from our land. We are like sturdy trees.
Five years ago, I was separated from my family and I chose to fight for the freedom of my country. I chose my weapons carefully and advanced with the revolutionaries; my pen and my camera were my best friends and, with them, I participated in battles that saw both success and defeat. I was able to document thousands of screams and what seems like a million bombings over the course of three years. I lived in a small house with a friend. There were many things we did not have, as the war made us lose some of our humanity. I became used to seeing massacres, they no longer affected me as I walked through the streets while bombings rained down on me. I slowly started going crazy. I felt like I was losing my emotions, spending most of my time on the internet looking through the news. The headlines and the pictures were repeating themselves daily. Every day I tried to escape my routine until one day I decided to start making documentary videos. I wrote the scenario of my first video, which revolved around different ways of bringing aid into the besieged city of Homs, and this started taking up most of my time.
On the morning of July 17, 2014, I was looking through my messages and I found a message from a young woman who worked in film documentation. She asked me for pictures of martyrs from my city and we began a long conversation. First, we introduced ourselves to each other, but soon we were talking about the conditions of the area. We kept talking for over a week, I began to learn about her personal life and I became intrigued by her. I thought about how I could continue working with her after I had finished gathering the pictures that she needed and decided to invite her to help me in writing my movie’s scenario. She very happily accepted.
After twenty days of hard work, we sitting at the table together. She was very beautiful – twenty years old, sunburnt skin and a smile that never left her face. We spoke at length about work, mostly about different methods and stages of video recording. She then told me that she would accept working with me on one condition: she wanted to accompany me in the shooting of the movie. I was shocked, because I would be shooting in a very dangerous area. However, I didn’t give it much thought and agreed, thinking that she was only trying to draw my attention. I went back home and started remembering the exact words of our conversation, outlining the details of her face in my mind. I felt something strange towards her – I hoped to see her again soon. She restored part of the emotions I had long lost. A few days later, I went to the filming location and spent thirteen days filming. I saw the struggles of the fighters and the conditions of their daily lives – a time I will never forget. I was filled with mixed emotions and documented the fighters’ dreams and pains, their tears and their joys.
I shared some of these stories with her, and she continued to ask me if she could join me on set. She didn’t give up. After fiercely insisting, this young woman finally convinced me to let her join me to the front lines, so that she could assist me filming the end of the movie. It was Tuesday, August 26, 2014. We spent a wonderful day filming together and at some point we sat and talked. It was then and there that I faced my fears and confessed to my love for her. We finished filming, said our goodbyes to the fighters and returned to the real world. The next day, I went to her house to review the footage. We spoke about the film extensively and decided to form a team called ‘Correspondents in War’. We would work on this project together and would combat war through the lens of a camera.
After three months, we finished the production of our film and, by this time, we had gotten very close to each other. I started seeing hope through her eyes – she changed my life completely. We participated in our first local film festival and achieved the second place. Our relationship developed and we eventually became engaged. When proposing, I wanted to surprise her. I took her to the area where we filmed our first movie together and put a ring on her finger in the same place where I had initially confessed my love to her. Our journey to the area was a short one. It was a very intense day, with a heavy battle that was playing the symphony of death. The gun was the piano, the cannon was the drum. We made it, however, into a symphony of love, where I proposed and we pledged to remain together forever.
Her name is Judy; she is here among us in this YaLa Citizen Journalism program. We are one soul in two different bodies, and we do everything together.