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My roommate Scott’s been thinking about leaving Southwest for British Airways, which has international flights. The problem is, how is he going to read the blog? So for those of you who, like Scott, don’t have time to read an entire post, I’ve done you (and Scott) the favor of condensing each post down to one simple sentence! It's as though I've packed all of you a blog lunch! Dig in!


Al Franken: "I get invited to important events and know important people. I secretly think no one likes me."

Norman Mailer: "I'm still relevant. Christ where am I? Do I smell gas?"

Larry Gelbart: "Where the hell did she put my 'Best Book of Puns?'"

Dannielle Crittendon: "I’m going to get a screenplay out of this if it kills me. I need a new kitchen."

Bill Maher: "Blogs are great because chicks don’t know how short I am."

Christie Hefner: "Just talk about freedom of expression, and people will forget I’m a pornographer."

Bill Press: "The angrier I get about life, the more I wonder if I’m wrong about my beliefs."

David Corn: "I’m actually pretty cool, not like the others here. I do standup."

Laurie David: "Writing about environmental issues makes me feel less guilty about my immense wealth. I drive a tiny car."

Mark Green: “I choose easy targets like smoking to make me look important. I went to Harvard."

Robert F Kennedy, JR. “Please God …don’t write anything stupid. Do hot chicks blog?”

Harry Shearer: "This sure beats trying to be interesting."

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