"Hey, Michelle. Come on in. How's it going?"
"Good. It looks like you're busy."
"No, never for you. I've just been trying to submit an electronic transcript for this online application, and it doesn't seem to be connecting."
"It looks like you've been at this for a while."
"What makes you say that?"
"The two tipped-over coffee cups, and your lunch plate from yesterday."
"Oh, yeah. Wow, does that look awful. What was that?"
"Mystery meat gnocchi in cream sauce."
"Right. So, what's up?"
"Well, I was hoping you could look at the next draft of my essay for my early action application. I really appreciated the comments you made on my first draft, and I think... Sorry, Dr. O'Connor, but is this making any sense?"
"What's that, Michelle? Sure, sure. Why do you ask?"
"You haven't turned away from your computer screen since I came in."
"Really? I'm sorry, Michelle. It's just that I think the network might be back up now, and I really need to get this transcript in. Come on, man."
"Yeah -- the computer. Who do you think I was talking to?"
"I was kind of hoping you would be talking to me."
"Man! It still won't take the transcript. This is crazy! How can they expect us to--"
"Dr. O'Connor. Dr. O'Connor?"
"Dr. O'Connor, what color are my eyes?"
"Your eyes. They're bl-- Why are you asking?"
"My mom's a preschool teacher, and that's how she gets her kids to look at her."
"Well done, Michelle."
"Do you remember the first draft of my first college essay?"
"The one about you and the runaway goat at Niagara Falls?"
"That's the one. When did I send that to you?"
"And when did you e-mail me back with your responses?"
"August 20, the first day I was back in the office."
"And what did I do on August 10, when I hadn't heard from you?"
"Now, Michelle, I think we agreed we would forget about that."
"I went to the superintendent's office and tried to get him to call you."
"Which he didn't do."
"Of course he didn't. I was acting like a lunatic."
"Well, that's a little harsh."
"More like, lunatic in training."
"The point is, you told us last spring not to worry, and you were right. Did I still get my application in on time?"
"Did I have ample time to write two other drafts of my essay?"
"You're really the best judge of that."
"Dr. O'Connor, you are the best. The answer is yes. And did you have ample time to write my letter and submit my transcript?"
"Your letter and transcript?"
"I was supposed to send those?"
"Dr. O'Connor, don't play here."
"OK, OK. I had plenty of time to do that."
"Right answer, Dr. O'Connor. And all of this happened because--"
"--you didn't panic."
"Wrong. All of this happened because I took my counselor's advice and didn't panic."
"Nice guy, that counselor of yours."
"And now you need to take his advice. When is that transcript due?"
"And today is?"
"Not November 1?"
"And you have other things to do?"
"Great. Shut the computer off until October 20. That gives you plenty of time."
"There's plenty of time for students to get into college?"
"I think it's to the college's advantage to make sure that happens."
"Dr. O'Connor, the hipster wannabe."
"Hey, beats being a lunatic in training."
"Don't make me call the superintendent again."