In the current age of convenient online dating the question lingers... Is it worth it?
Does the act and romance of falling in love indeed lose it’s luster when individuals get lost in endless texting only to be followed up with less than ideal first dates?
Getting jaded never happened so quickly.
A recent encounter with an “online match” gently reminded me that this world is full of unique and interesting characters and the act of attempting to find a needle in the haystack has proven to be quite the journey, full of both disheartening and often very humorous, incidents.
I have shared countless conversations with people who have lost ambition quickly in the dating scene, convinced that for whatever reason they are meant to walk through this journey alone. One too many encounters with Mr. or Mrs. Wrong.
Then I have met others who, although they have had their share of letdowns from strange encounters, do not falter in their absolute understanding that love is more real than the disappointing relationships that they are experiencing along the way and remain committed to the arduous journey.
So, with dating, the question remains… Should we continue to put ourselves out there and stay committed to the seemingly endless quest for love which includes the gamut of ridiculous experiences, or should we hold back in order to skip that old familiar feeling of disappointment that is inevitably hanging just around the corner? The latter relying on the hope that love will just organically appear without ever having to take any tangible actions, such as online dating.
Both choices hold validity. I think one would be exaggerating if they didn’t say that there is definitely a level of frustration that goes along with dating in general. The amount of mediocre first dates that one has to undergo in order to even get one that shows a flicker of hope, is slightly ridiculous.
And so it is, the perpetual flow of actively dating in hopes of falling madly and deeply in love...
But maybe, just maybe, the answer lies in the journey itself... To answer the question of whether or not online dating is worth it, perhaps the key is taking a good look at the life of the journey and how we are navigating the path.
I am finding through the process of dating that these experiences are indeed the beauty of love itself. The beauty of self exploration paired intimately with the beauty of taking the time to connect with another soul. Love in one of it’s rawest forms.
We all are connected in this life yet we are intricately created so differently that the person that will complete our hearts and sentences while we are here on this earth, is a rare find…
But, as I know so well, when it does happen, when you find a person that is matched perfectly to your heart mold, you quickly realize that they were there all along, they just hadn’t stepped into the light until that moment.
Although dating can be exhausting and disappointing and absurd and all too often anticlimactic, it is also holds moments of truth.
If done methodically and with intention, dating can shed light onto our own behaviors, patterns and understandings of who we are and how we work. During the glimpses of connection we form with another person we can see ourselves in the mirror, if even for a brief moment in time.
It allows for us to take a step back and look at what we truly want in a world that is far too often muddled with wonky energy and unsteady personalities. If we let it, dating gives us a mirror and shows us who we really are, no matter the outcome of the date, we are already in the process of discovering love in another form.
The dating process, if thought about within this context, is a beautiful experience. We have the opportunity to grow within our own understanding of what our personal values mean to us. We can try out different personalities, connect with diverse people and still be committed to remaining true to our own hearts that beat with desire for raw and unadulterated connection.
Not allowing the the letdowns and roller coaster emotions alter our foundation of belief in love and connection.
We learn so much from the dates that go south, from the short romances that end with letdown or vulnerable hearts being hurt. There is something to be said about knowing, without a doubt, that when it doesn’t work out, it was never meant for us.