Dear Beyonce,
I listened to your album Lemonade. You spoke about "Becky with the Great Hair." When you sang, you made her the villainous that was destroying your marriage. I found this appalling, spiteful, and hideous on your part. You should have been placing the blame where it belonged. The place the blame should be is your husband, Mrs. Carter.
You took the low road by assailing Becky with the Good Hair. Why? Because you are insecure, and while you are an icon are not yet Diana Ross? Because you stayed for the children like so many women do, yet you know your husband still cats around? Because your father cheated, your mother took him back, and this weakness was the only reference point you had? Or because you chose to be a doormat and are mad at yourself? Yeah, you making the choice you did, and it was your choice, is totally the fault of Becky with the Hair.
I have been Becky with the Hair. Yes, me. The blonde who speaks with a strange accent with the big lips and the big eyes. Yes, the blonde who can name all the presidents and their wives. Yes, the one with the puppets who performs on street corners. Yes, the one you could give the look of destain to because you believe I am a lesser being from a different galaxy. I have been Becky with the Hair.
I have news for you. When I was Becky with the Hair, the married man lied to me telling me his wife was crazy and the marriage was over. He said they were separated, and the divorce papers were going to be signed any day. I liked him. He had a lot of money. I was young and stupid. Like a crafty predator he took advantage. He stole my heart. I thought I was in love.
Next thing I know his wife is on the other end of the phone screaming at me. It was amazing how many hateful messages I got from her friends, too. I was the bad guy, yet I was the one who had been lied to. Sure, when I found out the truth I ended it with him. Still, it was a painful lesson.
However, know in my heart since being Becky with the Hair I have never blamed another woman when the man I was with acted less than stellar. There have been many times I have sent a man walking. An old song lyric goes, "You must not know about me.........I can have another you in a minute....." You might know it.
Bad news, your husband was the wonton aggressor, not Becky with the Hair. Sorry to burst your hypocritical bubble.
Just as Donald Trump created a strawman with the illegal immigrants and other minorities, you created a strawwoman in Becky with the Good Hair. You have helped enable a pattern we all buy into. By attacking the other woman, you encourage other women to do the same. Women have trouble getting ahead not because men hold us down, but because we sabotage each other over trivial things. By doing this, we make it easier for Donald Trump and his like to have free reign over our uterus and the rest of our reproductive rights.
I know it's not easy taking on the man as opposed to beating the straw woman. As someone who has survived domestic violence I have been told by men I was "bitter and angry." I was told by other women to "get over it." Yet, I continue to say not only was my ex a damaged person, but as a young woman I was also forced to look at why I chose to be such a doormat. What was it about me that made me stay with a man who cheated and laid his hands on me?
I am even taking on the straw man and straw woman now. Combining my puppetry and love of political satire, I have created a character named Donald J. Tramp. He is a commentary on the racist, sexist billionaire that currently has America enchanted. Much of the hate mail I receive is from men. Men who call me terrible names. Men who are part of men's rights organizations. Men who have even threatened to physically hurt me.
I write to you because young women especially listen to. My belief is that you didn't maliciously put gasoline on the fire created by the evil forces of sexism and hetero dominance. Rather, you didn't know you were even assaulting the straw woman.
I know I seem militant and like I would be no fun at a picnic. Yet let me point out that one young woman died at the hands of two classmates in Delaware. The two young woman that killed her are looking at extensive prison sentences. All over a young man, one who I am willing to bet was not worth it. Three lives destroyed because Becky with the Great Hair was blamed. In the end, the male who was the center of this intrigue walks away unscathed.
Is this fair? Is beating this straw woman helping young women? Something to think about the next time you enter the recording studio.
Love,
April Brucker