THE BLOG

Opposite Day

David Corn’s blog on 800 conservatives and lobbyists singing “If I had a Hammer” at Tom DeLay’s testimonial dinner reminds me of that great American schoolyard tradition: Opposite Day. A kid declares, “It’s Opposite Day!” and instantly everything is its opposite. Simple. Elegant. Childish. You say, “You’re my best friend, Tommy,” Tommy blushes, his heart warmed, then you scream, “It’s Opposite Day!” and run behind the jungle gym so he can’t hit you in the face with a kick-ball. When a room full of right-wingers sings a classic lefty Weavers’ song, it has to be opposite day. Then again, it’s always opposite day with this bunch: No Child Left Behind, "Mission Accomplished!" Patriot Act, Healthy Forests Initiative, honoring Tom DeLay, et al. Got to be Opposite Day, right? The problem is that they’re leaving out Opposite Day’s most basic element: the part where you shout, “It’s Opposite Day!” If you don’t say those magic words, you’re just a liar liar pants on fire. When asked, “How could you use an Iraqi connection to the 9/11 terrorist attacks as a primary reason for invading Iraq when you knew such a connection did not exist?” the answer should have been:

“Senator, it was opposite day.”

A playground theme develops: Bullying, name-calling, teasing the smart kids, changing the rules as you go along... Somebody needs a time-out.