I cried as I watched survivors relive the horror of the Orlando nightclub shooting and friends and family members mourn their dead. It is horrific to see another senseless killing in America. And as I listened to how the FBI is focusing on finding answers by piecing together the life of the shooter and his connections to ISIS, I felt frustrated. It is easy to blame this and other shootings on people being radicalized by ISIS ideology or mental illness. It is true these links do need to be researched. America does need to look at why some people turn to ideologies of hatred and why not enough resources are being put towards caring for mentally ill. But these two issues alone will not provide answers as to why Americans are shooting their own with alarming frequency. The anti-gun lobby will rightly point a finger at America's lack of gun laws that provides access to guns no one needs. It is entirely logical that if people cannot buy guns, particularly guns that shoot a hail of bullets every second, anyone intent on killing will have a much harder time carrying it out. But access to guns is only part of the story. The real story behind this and other shootings is the deep level of intolerance within American society, which is ironic since America is founded on immigrants fleeing religious persecution.
The sad fact is that for a while the bathroom issue will go quiet. It will feel bad taste to bring it up. But in about a month or so when the shock of this shooting wears off, the intolerance that is deep within American politics will resurface and the conversation that does not want to afford people the dignity to use the bathroom that reflects the gender they believe they are will resurface. And it isn't only the LGBT community that is targeted by these voices of intolerance. Women's access to contraception and abortion are targeted. Immigrants, Muslims, black youth, Mexicans are targeted. And mothers who use childcare, stay-at-home mothers, and mothers who have taken their eyes off their lively toddler for a second as he climbs into the gorilla enclosure at the zoo are targeted. All these groups, along with many others hear the voices of intolerance echoing in their ears on a daily basis as they are criticized for who they are, for what they believe, and for the choices they need to make to live a good, happy life.
We must ask ourselves why American society is so intolerant of difference. Why are the voices of intolerance so thin skinned that they feel affronted, threatened, and insulted by anyone who doesn't look like them and doesn't agree with them? And why is it okay to use the stereotypes of hatred and intolerance to justify marginalizing, ostracizing, legislating against, rejecting, blaming, and in the Orlando nightclub shooting and abortion clinic shootings, killing people?
I feel this social struggle acutely because I know what it feels like to be criticized, ostracized, and rejected. I have been disowned by my family of origin because I do not fit their stereotype of what a daughter, mother, and wife are. As a woman I am not supposed to have my own thoughts and identity, and I am certainly not supposed to put my needs and dreams ahead of what my mother needed, when she was alive. And as I hear the voices of intolerance in America they sound eerily similar to the ones in my family, even though my family comes from New Zealand.
I am afraid that the killing in America will not stop until America does some deep soul searching. America needs to connect the dots between its politics of intolerance and marginalization and mass shootings. We need to join together and create a society where the LGBT community is free to live as they see fit without prejudice and restrictions. We need a society where women are free to control their fertility. And we need a society where difference can live next door to each other in harmony because, those who do not believe in abortion or who believe that being gay is wrong are free to believe this for themselves, just like the woman next door is free to have an abortion and the man across the street is free to be gay.
To me this is the definition of a civilized society. It is a society that affords its people enough space to breathe, to live, and to exist, and when its people are respected, I know the animals and forests will also have a much better time because we are all connected. When a group is hunted down and killed for who they are we are all being hunted down and killed because this act comes from a society that does not know how to live and love with tolerance and respect.