Once again, the Academy has failed to nominate any actors of color for an Oscar this year, sparking legitimate anger and causing a lot of foot-in-mouth situations for famous people. This year, it's clearer than ever that those who select the film industry's top honors aren't representative of the increasingly diverse, incredible films on offer in theaters every month, and that they don't much care to change.
The Oscars, in short, have gotten stale and bad.
What is the Academy to do? If only there were a simple way to freshen up the show without spending any money or changing the signs. If only there were a way for us all to admit this award ceremony is a joke. If only there were a person with a similar name to the statues bestowed during the industry's biggest night. If only he were super attractive, bearded, and recognizable.
OH, WAIT, THERE IS.
It's Oscar Isaac, and we need to just add his face to the show -- many of his faces, even. Now those are the Oscars we can get behind.
And you know what? After one look at his beautiful, "Star Wars"-approved mug, it's not hard to see another fix for this dumb award show. Introducing the First Annual Oscar Isaac Award!
Without further ado, the nominees for Best Oscar Isaac in a Leading Role are ...
SXSW Oscar Isaac Engaging In A Slow Dance Of Sorts
Here we have classic Oscar Isaac in March 2015, looking fine in a tux, posing for a photo, and ostensibly ready to dance with his "Ex Machina" co-star Domhnall Gleeson, whose name we always have to double-check before typing. He gives a pretty good showing, but something is just lacking the pizzaz we've come to know and love.
Oscar Isaac and BB-8
This situation is not dissimilar to the problem faced by Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett for their turn in "Carol": when you have two magnetic stars give terrific performances, who do we call the lead, and who is merely supporting? We can't decide, so we're leaving this one to the Academy.
Oscar Isaac, John Boyega And Some Lightsabers
This is the kind of Oscar Isaac that rolls up to your parents' house on a motorcycle, cigarette dangling from his dreamy mouth, to take you for milkshakes -- which he then proceeds to spike with whiskey while he tells you about his comic book collection. (We really haven't thought this through.) He's a little cool, a shade dangerous and a bit nerdy, and it's clear he knows how to hang.
Combative Oscar Isaac
It should be clear why this Oscar Isaac was nominated: he's not afraid to defend mankind against an army of wax Adam Driver figurines. If only everyone were so brave and unabashed.
Awards Season Oscar Isaac
Here we have the most dapper of the Isaacs (our preferred nickname for The First Annual Oscar Isaac Awards), holding a gold statue we really, really hope isn't an Oscar. That would be embarrassing! It's really the bow tie and the satisfied smirk of achievement that pushes this one over the edge.
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