As we saw with last year’s Best Picture debacle, the Oscars can be unpredictable. There’s really only one thing you can guarantee when it comes to an Academy Awards broadcast: It’s going to be a long show.
But that doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyable. As with any event that starts to drag, just add alcohol!
Here’s a drinking game you can play while watching Sunday’s Academy Awards that, we would argue, is the only true way to keep the show moving.
Take a sip if Jimmy Kimmel jokes about last year’s Best Picture incident.
Take a gulp if Jimmy Kimmel brings out the envelope in question.
Take a shot if a presenter opens an envelope and jokes “La La Land — just kidding!”
Finish the bottle if “La La Land” somehow actually does win something.
Take a sip if at some point the firm that tabulates the Oscar voting is introduced.
Take a gulp if a representative of that firm comes out with a briefcase holding the voting results.
Take a shot if the person has the briefcase attached to them with handcuffs.
Finish the bottle if the briefcase is handcuffed to a part of their body that is not their hand.
Take a sip when a female nominee is announced (outside actress-only categories).
Take a gulp if that female nominee doesn’t win (outside actress-only categories).
Take a shot if that female nominee does win (outside actress-only categories).
Finish the bottle if even the Lead Actress and Supporting Actress categories are somehow all men.
Take a sip if you’ve seen one of the films in the Foreign Language category.
Take a gulp if you’ve seen more than one.
Take a shot if you’ve seen all of them.
Finish the bottle if you were unaware this category is a thing.
Take a sip if the music starts playing during someone’s speech.
Take a gulp if the person is still talking after the microphone is shut off.
Take a shot if the person is still talking when the next winner comes to the stage.
Finish the bottle if the person is still talking when Jimmy Kimmel closes the show.
Take a sip if someone forces a smile when they lose.
Take a gulp if someone loses and still claps, but doesn’t smile at all.
Take a shot if someone loses but doesn’t smile or clap.
Finish the bottle if someone loses, but runs up to the stage anyway, pries the Oscar from the presenter’s hand, and is tackled by security trying to escape.
Take a sip if Meryl Streep is praised during the show.
Take a gulp if Meryl Streep wins for Lead Actress.
Take a shot if Meryl Streep loses for Lead Actress but the winner specifically mentions Streep in her acceptance speech.
Finish the bottle if the winner for Lead Actress singles out Meryl Streep because Streep owes her money.
Take a sip if someone gets political while speaking on stage.
Take a gulp if President Donald Trump is mentioned by anyone.
Take a shot if the president tweets about the Oscars during the broadcast.
Finish the bottle if the tweet is nice.
Take a sip if anyone mentions how long award shows tend to run.
Take a gulp for every 10 minutes the show goes over three hours (about the normal run time).
Take a shot if the broadcast actually finishes ahead of schedule.
Finish the bottle if, during the broadcast, humanity discovers that reality is just an elaborate simulation and time has no meaning.
Take a sip for every person in the room where you’re watching the broadcast.
Take a gulp if these are also your friends.
Take a shot if your friends are a collection of stuffed animals and action figures.
Finish the bottle ― no, seriously, you need this.
