Our Last Sick Day

All my children are big now. My first born graduated from high school last spring and is half way through his freshman year of college. The girls are teenagers. And the baby? The baby is ten years old.
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All my children are big now. My first born graduated from high school last spring and is half way through his freshman year of college. The girls are teenagers. And the baby? The baby is ten years old. I love ten years old. A ten year old combines all the wonder of childhood with the sophistication of one who knows there is no tooth fairy. A ten year old is free from the awkwardness and self-consciousness that characterizes middle schoolers but still tries to be cool - sometimes. A ten year old is big, but a ten year old is still a child - for just a little while longer.

The sad truth is, I can feel my ten year old slipping away from me day by day. Oh, I don't mean to sound too dramatic. If he's like his older brother, he will never be too old or too cool to hug me in public or to say, "I love you too!" in front of his friends. He will let me call him Little Man even when he towers over me. And he'll kiss me goodnight when he comes in from a date. But just as they did with his older brother, things are changing with this little boy. He doesn't always want me to read to him at bedtime anymore. He tolerates being tucked in but rarely asks for it. He calls me Mom - not Mommy. And more often than not, I am the one to hug first and longest. He isn't rejecting me. But he clearly does not need me like he once did. Except for today. Today he is sick. Today he needs his mama.

I called in sick to work to stay home with him. I had planned to make him a nest in front of the television and then use the day off catch up on a few things around the house. But this little boy had other plans, other needs. He wanted to lay his head on my shoulder in the doctor's office. He wanted me to cuddle on the couch and watch Animal Planet with him all afternoon. And, though he didn't actually say it, I know he wanted to have me close by. He wanted to be near me - because when a child is sick (even a big, ten year old child) having mama close by makes everything better.

I am sorry that he's sick. But, at the risk of sounding like a selfish mother, this has been the best day.

Turns out, it's strep throat. He feels pretty miserable right now, but by this time tomorrow night the antibiotics will have kicked in, and he will be up and running again. But as is the case with antibiotics, he has to be on them for 24 hours before he can go back to school. So I have another day. Another day not to go to work and another day not to catch up on things around the house. I have another day of Animal Planet and snuggling and of being needed. I have another day to be Mommy.

Is it my last day? As a rule, my kids are pretty healthy. They don't get sick that often. The next time he feels this bad, he might not want to snuggle and watch TV with me all day. Tomorrow might be our last sick day together. It might not. The truth is, I'd rather not know. Tomorrow I just want to cuddle or play cards or read or hang out and watch TV. Whatever this little boy wants to do tomorrow will be just fine with me because, as much as I try not to think about it, I know that he won't be a little boy much longer. So maybe tomorrow is our last sick day and maybe it isn't. Either way, it's going to be a great day!

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An original version of this post appeared on Charming Farming.

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