We all have insecurities. These self-doubts become personal battles in which we can rise victorious, but some of the deeply rooted, longest-held insecurities seem impossible to overpower. Where does one even begin?
Life coach Iyanla Vanzant always advises people to "do the work" to overcome their deepest insecurities. "When I say, 'Do the work,' what I'm talking about is doing what is necessary and required to know the truth of who you are, the best of who you are," she explains in the above clip.
To get to that core, Iyanla suggests following a process that can be broken down into three stages.
1. Be with yourself.
First, go somewhere alone, get quiet, be still and tune into your mind, heart and spirit. In other words? "Sit down, shut up and listen," Iyanla instructs.
2. Go to the places that scare you.
It's difficult, but Iyanla says it's very important to settle into your discomfort in order to understand it -- and to mitigate it. "Go to the places where you hurt," she says. "Go to the places where you don't like yourself... Go to your cellulite and see how you really feel when you see it in the mirror!"
3. Confront the limitations others placed on you.
Even if it's as simple as your mother insisting that you never liked a certain food, resurface those supposed limitations. Then challenge them. "What are the things you've been told you cannot do, and therefore, you didn't even bother to try?" Iyanla poses. "Maybe you really can sing. Maybe you really can write. Maybe you really can dance."
Ultimately, overcoming your deepest insecurities is about opening yourself up and discovering who you truly are, Iyanla says. It often comes down to asking yourself this pointed question:
"Have you done the work to even explore and investigate what's possible for you?"
Here's another way to address your self-doubt: