Everyone knows how to catch a monkey even if you've never had to. Basic concept. Put a banana in a jar and make sure the mouth of the jar is bigger than a monkey paw, yet smaller than the banana. When the monkey gets hold of that banana, he won't let go, even if it means his hand is stuck in the jar.
Sarah Palin finds herself in a similar predicament. Her Alaska Fund Trust is the perfect golden banana. It happens to be inside the legal jar created by Thomas Daniel's ethics investigation findings. You see, Mr. Daniel concluded Palin had used her official title of governor to raise money for a "slush fund" to pay her legal bills. That's a no-no, silly monkey!
With his findings, Mr. Daniel gave the Naughty Palin Monkey an out... "LET GO OF THE BANANA!" To avoid an ethics hearing, Palin could give back the money raised by the fund. Then, there would be no finding of guilt. Not only did she not let go of the money, her fund trust kept their campaign up and begging -- thereby making the banana fatter and more golden.
This week, the report of a "jar" was leaked. Palin, her spokesmodels, and attorney have curious explanations:
"THERE IS NO JAR!"
"IT'S A LIBERAL JAR!"
"IT'S THE FAULT OF THE WOMAN WHO FILED A COMPLAINT TO FIND OUT IF A JAR EXISTED!"
"IF THERE WERE A JAR, IT WOULD BE OPEN AND TRANSPARENT!"
"THE EXISTENCE OF A JAR IS STILL UNDETERMINED AND NOT FINAL."
"SARAH PALIN HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE JAR, EVEN THOUGH IT'S HER DAMN BANANA!"
"SARAH PALIN WROTE THANK YOU NOTES TO "BANANA BUILDERS" WITHOUT KNOWING THEY EXISTED, EVEN THOUGHT THEY WERE MAKING HER BANANA MORE GOLDEN!"
I don't have a lot of experience with monkeys. If I were rooting for a trapped monkey, I'd tell them to let go of the banana...the "jar" is real.