"You'll look back and realize how quickly your kids grew up."
My children are 8, 7, and 6. They are hardly what anyone would call 'grown up'.
Yet, sitting around the table Friday night, laughing together and talking about the week's high and low points, it hit me-my children are growing up.
The next morning, we pored over photo albums. We smiled over pictures of each of them as they progressed through newborn, infancy, toddler, and early childhood phases. It felt peaceful, nostalgic, and a bit sad all at once.
I’ve been turning it over in my mind how my kids are slowly developing into their own one-of-a-kind selves, and the sweet, quirky, unique (and sometimes challenging!) qualities of their personalities are beginning to truly shine through.
When did that happen? It has been quite a journey. Three kids in diapers, three kids in cribs, three kids in a stroller. You get the picture.
I'm finding that I am enjoying the company of my children as individual people more and more. I'm not always looking at the clock, waiting for bedtime, exhausted. (At least on weekends! School nights are an entirely different story.)
I've been thinking about how the parenting journey is fluid. At one phase you may be exhausted beyond what you feel you can handle, but you push through, because you can. During other points along the way, there may be tantrums, sleep difficulties, homework problems, friend issues...the list goes on and on.
For me, at least, in the end, it comes back to perspective:
Look back at life a year ago, 6 months ago, 3 months ago, or even 2 weeks ago. Appreciate how far you have come as a family unit.
Celebrate the growth and milestones that your children have met.
Know that whatever feels hard will not be difficult forever (and repeat that to yourself as many times as you need to!)-everything has an ending.
Finally, and possibly most importantly, acknowledge the parental contributions, guidance, and love that you provide to your children. It is essential and irreplaceable.
Lauren Brukner is a Senior Occupational Therapist and published author who lives in New Jersey with her husband and three children, ages 8, 7, and 5. She currently works as a Senior Occupational Therapist and evaluator in the NYC Department of Education. Lauren is a published author with Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and has appeared as a guest on The Autism Show, The Manhattan Neighborhood Network’s School-Home Connection, and The Matt Townsend Show. Her books have been endorsed by Dr. Temple Grandin, and have been listed as resources on websites such as Real Simple Magazine, Inc. Magazine, Psych Central, Marie Claire, Everyday Health, AOL’s Health and Wellness, MSN Health, Mothering.com, About.com, InOurHands.com, ScaryMommy, and Friendship Circle, as well as numerous school district curricula around the world. Her second and third books recently won the Mom’s Choice Award-gold seal. Lauren specializes in sensory integration and self-regulation strategies for children and young people, and their implementation in home, school, and community settings. She holds advanced training and certification in Integrated Listening Systems, and is a Certified Screener for Irlen Syndrome/Scotopic Sensitivity. Lauren is the author of The Kids’ Guide to Staying Awesome and In Control and How to Be a Superhero Called Self-Control, both published by JKP. She is the author of Stay Cool and in Control with the Keep-Calm Guru, that just came out in September (also with JKP). She is also a contributing author to Huffington Post and Autism Parenting Magazine, and blogs at www.awesomeandincontrol.com. When she is not writing or 'therapizing', Lauren can often be found going on a weekend adventure with her family, having a good dance party with her kids, or curled up with an engrossing book and a great cup of coffee. It all depends on the day. :)