When you have kids, "date night" turns into a fleeting and often disastrous occasion -- and Valentine's Day is no exception. We asked the HuffPost Parents Facebook community to share their worst date night stories, and in addition to countless responses of "What's a date night?" and "I haven't been on a date since 2006," we received anecdotes about some seriously ill-fated date nights.
Here are 16 date night disasters from real parents:
1. "I thought my teenage son was spending the night at his friend's house." -- Janet Klock"I thought my teenage son was spending the night at his friend's house, so my husband and I went out for a lovely dinner and movie and came home to a nice, quiet, dark house. We had sex like crazy loud teenagers, then sprawled out on the living room rug (naked) with a glass of wine. Guess who was NOT at his friend's ... my son. He came into the living room, saw us, freaked out, and said we had scarred him for life."
3. "I hobbled down the hall to find my 4-year-old vomiting over the rail of the top bunk onto his younger sister's head." -- Sarrah Menge"I had sprained my ankle, so we canceled our night out and tried to make the best of a date night in. We settled down (me with a bag of ice and leg elevated) to watch Netflix. We had wine and snacks, and the kids were sound asleep. Five minutes into the movie, both kids started screaming from their room, as though there was an intruder. I hobbled down the hall to find my 4-year-old vomiting over the rail of the top bunk onto his younger sister's head. She was sitting in a pile of his barf, yelling up at him, 'Stop barfing on me! Stop it!' It took us a week to get the smell of bile out of both their beds."
4. "We thought she was asleep but then... 'Haha, daddy's NAKEY! Momma's nakey, too!'" -- Becca Atterbury
5. "We had at least a 45-60 minute drive back in very snowy conditions." -- Tiffany Vosburg "Four years ago, we went to dinner and a movie to celebrate my birthday. We ended up in a blizzard. We hadn't even sat down in theater when my cell phone rang. It was the babysitter -- our 4-year-old son had split open his chin. We had at least a 45-60 minute drive back in very snowy conditions. Then, we spent a few hours in ER while he got eight stitches. To add to this, I had just found out that I was pregnant! It was not a great date night or birthday, but definitely memorable!"
6. "We came down just in time to see him throw my bowling ball across the floor, exploding the cans of paint." -- Judy Rappley McElearney"We were dressed and ready to go celebrate our anniversary. The babysitter had arrived, so we went downstairs to the family room to tell the kids goodnight. Our youngest son had gone into the storage closet, brought out and stacked several cans of white paint (we were repainting the living room). We came down just in time to see him throw my bowling ball across the floor -- exploding the cans of paint and soaking the bee dark brown carpet. Instead of going out, we spent the night soaking the carpet with water and then using the wet vac to get all the paint out."
8. "I'm pretty sure he thought I made the whole thing up and that my 'babysitter' was a friend calling to relieve me. I never heard from him again!" -- Melissa Ann "I'm a single mom, so that makes it even more difficult! I had a first date, and it was going great at first. We were having a good conversation, and it all felt quite promising. After the drinks arrived, I was about to take my first sip when my phone rang. The babysitter called to tell me my son was throwing up everywhere! Feeling panicked, I explained this to my date (Did I mention we hadn't even gotten to the "I have a kid" part of the conversation? So it was like, "Ok ... so I'm a mom, and my child is throwing up. I gotta go!"), apologized over and over, and left. I'm pretty sure he thought I made the whole thing up and that my 'babysitter' was a friend calling to relieve me. I never heard from him again! I hope he enjoyed my cocktail."
9. "We had to leave dinner early because our son hadn't stopped crying since we left." -- Kristen Lynn Perez-Rickels "For my birthday, my husband and I went out alone for the first time in four months. We left my 5-month-old with a very close friend, since we don't have family nearby, and went to dinner in the metro 25 minutes away. We had to leave dinner early, because our son hadn't stopped crying since we left. Once we were halfway back, we got a text that said he'd stopped crying and was asleep."
10. "I cried in the car, cried at dinner, cried until we picked my little nugget up!" -- Natalia Kennedy"After our first son was born, my husband wanted to take me out for my birthday. He planned the whole day, dropped the baby off with his mom, and took me to get my nails done. I cried the entire time at the nail salon. From there we went to dinner -- I cried in the car, cried at dinner, cried until we picked my little nugget up!"
12. "'Mom, I know how babies are made. What I want to know is, when do you and Daddy do that?'" -- Jenn Lockhart"I went to Outback for Valentine's Day with husband and two kids. During dinner, my 4-year-old said to me, as loud as I've ever heard him talk, 'Mom, I know how babies are made. What I want to know is, when do you and Daddy do that?' Even the waiter was slack-jawed."
13. "When we got home at 11:30, all four of my boys were still awake, one of our ferrets was missing, the girl looked like she was going to pull her hair out, and there was lipstick on the carpet in every single room of my home." -- Katheryn O'Toole Rowell "My partner and I went out to a Superbowl party and left my four boys (ages 11, 8, 5 and 3) with a daughter of one of my co-workers. When we got home at 11:30, all four of my boys were still awake, one of our ferrets was missing, the babysitter looked like she was going to pull her hair out. and there was lipstick on the carpet in every single room of my home. I paid her 50 bucks and drove her home. Never again."
14. "As soon as we hit the ocean, I got violently sea sick." -- Elisa Campos Hopkins"My husband and I decided to take advantage of the kids being in school and took off work, so we could take our boat out for the day -- just the two of us -- which we never do. As soon as we hit the ocean, I got violently sea sick. It was awful. I took Dramamine and passed out in the sun. By the time I woke up, I was sunburned, and we had to go pick up the kids from school."
16. "Date night? What the heck is THAT?" -- Ericka Spears-Villamar
These accounts have been edited and condensed.