Paris Hilton Forces Blow-Up Whale To Participate In Bikini Photo Shoot

Another day, another Paris Hilton bikini photo shoot. There was a bikini and a Paris, as per usual, but you'll note this particular series was different in its inclusion of a massive whale raft (whom Paris so cleverly named Free Willy).

We can only imagine the kind of thing that went into setting up these photos: Paris hiring a photographer, perhaps setting up interviews for backup staff to take turns blowing air into the inflatable whale. So much effort, so much preparation, but did any one ask what Free Willy wanted in any of this? His very name is a mockery of his state of being -- stoic, unfeeling, bereft of free will.

As Paris poses, planting kisses on her beloved yet unconsenting whale, we must wonder if perhaps that is precisely what she has been going for: a portrait of the indeterminable nature of choice (and, also, bikinis).