Ever since I wrote an article in the Washington Post ten days ago, I've been getting love letters from women and super-smart men and
brickbats from the Hillary-Haters. Unfortunately the Hillary-Haters are in
charge. They monopolize the networks, the newspapers, the talk shows -- both
radio and TV. They are crossing their legs for fear of castration. They are
wearing the body armor our troops never got. Or got too late to matter. They
are determined that a woman will not prove herself competent as Commander in
What's their ammunition? Oh, it's simple. They call her Mrs. Clinton, not
Ms. or Senator. They pull out those nutcrackers in the shape of her supposed
thighs. They complain about her ankles -- too thick. They complain on Fox TV
that "White women are the problem" -- (idiot boy Kristol, the brain-damaged
scion of Irving who rose through nepotism like our unelected "president").
Then they say she has "baggage" -- which could mean wrinkles, or her husband,
or her daughter Chelsea whom they say she is "pimping." Then they say she
never divorced Bill -- as if it's anyone's business. Then they moon over
Obama's rhetorical style. Then they make it appear that she's a drone or a
worker bee and has no royal jelly. Or else she has royal jelly and is queen
bee. And that's her problem.
If Bill defends her, he's a pimp. If he doesn't, he's a creep. If Chelsea
campaigns, it's cynical. If Obama trots out those cute little girls Michelle
gave birth to, he's a family man. If Michelle attacks Hillary, it's news. If
Hillary attacks Michelle -- well she can't because that would be racist. All we
need now is a black woman in this race -- Maya or Oprah or Toni or Gayle or
Donna -- any of whom would be a far better president than the one we've still
got (not to mention his surrogate Dad, Dick Cheney, his co war-criminal).
You couldn't attack Oprah or Maya or Toni or Gayle or Donna because of their
color. Wow -- what an idea! Oprah for President. I'd definitely vote for that.
I adore Maya Angelou as both person and poet. Toni Morrison is a genius and
a true progressive. Gayle King is an executive, mother, communicator. Donna
B. is a spokeswoman on CNN. Oprah -- well, she's Oprah -- way beyond having a last
Let me tell you about the Hillary-Haters who fill my inbox, they can't
spell. They also believe in witchcraft. They believe HRC boils eye of newt
with unborn baby's hair and little Jewish children not yet circumcised. They
think she had a child with Vince Foster (even though Chelsea looks much like
Bill and even his mother), then murdered him. They think she will leave
Iraq, not leave Iraq, give us universal health care, not give us universal
health care, sanction the killing of fetuses, not sanction the killing of
fetuses, defend Israel, not defend Israel, end the Death Tax, not end the
Honey, they are all mixed up. But they know they hate. And not just her -- but
lots of people and things and ideas.
Ho hum. We've seen this all before in the United States of Amnesia (Gore
Vidal's brilliant phrase). Remember Geraldine Ferraro -- tarred with the brush
of her Italian-American husband, whom they claimed was a mafioso? Remember
Bella Abzug, attacked for her hats (which covered too large a brain)?
Remember Eleanor Roosevelt, attacked for her teeth? Remember Victoria
Woodhull (the first woman to run for president) "hanged" as a whore?
Remember Emma Goldman rode out of town on a rail -- for being Jewish, liking to
dance and supporting the rights of the working classes?
Perhaps you know the history. Most likely you don't. They'd rather you
didn't know it. Hence trillions for guns and pennies for education. The
military industrial complex needs your boys and your girls in Iraq, Iran,
Afghanistan. But there's no one to guard the "homeland" -- a nice Hitlerian
locution. Perhaps they'd rather you didn't know that every great empire -- from
Persia to Greece to Rome -- fell when it spent more on war than on its people.
This is history, kids. But we don't read history any more. History begins
with Britney and ends with Paris.
I give up. If I have to watch another great American woman thrown in the
dustbin of history to please the patriarchy, I'll move to Canada -- where they
live four years longer than we because they have universal health care. Or
Italy -- where Berlusconi played at being Mussolini but life is sweet anyway and
people take vacations in August and at Chanukah (Christmas or Diwali or
Kwaanza) and Passover (Easter).
Ok folks, stick your heads in the sand like Maureen Dowd who thinks we're
not against women but just against Clinton "baggage." Or Barbara Walters who
seems to have forgotten how viciously she was attacked when she got her
first million dollar contract -- worth only half a million in Euros today.
Or Oprah who forgets she wasn't always Oprah -- I knew her when she had two
names. She was always really smart, but she used to identify with women. And
now she's joined the Obamarama. I get it. I understand. People want their
own color in the White House (pun intended). And nobody said Barack wasn't
But the truth is, we have no idea what he stands for. At least I don't. All
we have are soundbites and attacks on "the" Clintons. But I guess the great
American Amnesiate prefers it that way. And they always get what they
deserve in the White House. Last time it was Dubya -- the dumb son of the CIA
who showed them by never heeding their warnings. We lost Al Gore to sound
bites about his nerdiness. Then we lost him again to hanging chads in
Florida. We lost Adlai for being too intellectual. They used to say
"egghead" in the olden days. And we lost Kerry to touch screens in Ohio and
to election officials later indicted and tried and convicted. I didn't like
him anyway. I especially hated his not returning fire at the Swiftboaters,
and that stupid salute at the Democratic convention where Barack was born
from the head of Athena.
Flip Flop, Flop Flip. This is the nature of our political dialogue. Might as
well vote Repugnican as Democratic -- though I never have in my whole life.
They're all just pols who secretly pledge to ignore fifty three percent of
the population. And guess what? The fifty three percent is resigned to it.
We don't like it. We wish it were otherwise. But we adore our sons and
grandsons and husbands and fathers and grandfathers -- not to mention our
nephews whom we happily nepotize.
One of my nephews works for Hillary. I bet his heart is breaking too.