The plan was to s!@# bricks -- gold bricks.
Paul Moran hatched a scheme to get rich quick by turning his own feces into gold, according to authorities in Northern Ireland. But like King Midas himself, Moran might have flushed his life down the drain in pursuit of his golden dreams.
Moran's attempts at alchemy crossed the line into arson when he set his apartment on fire after placing his feces on an electric heater, according to The Belfast Telegraph.
The 30-year-old resident of the town of Enniskillen reportedly caused nearly $4,800 in damages to his home.
Moran was charged with arson and endangering the lives of others. He was sentenced to three months in jail followed by one year on supervised release.
"Rather bizarrely you were attempting to make gold from human feces and waste products," the judge stated, according to The Belfast Telegraph. "It was an interesting experiment to fulfill the alchemist's dream, but wasn't going to succeed."
Moran's lawyer reportedly stated that his client is a smart man who has suffered from a drug problem.