PBS Needs a Spanking for Firing Host

My two year old son has his first official TV crush. Wouldn't you know, it's on a woman whose acting resume includes starring in videos called, "The Technical Virgin." Oh well.

Melanie Martinez, the perky host of "The Goodnight Show" on PBS Kids Sprout network, was taken off the air late last week after she informed network executives about one of the videos.

Here's a quote from Sandy Wax, network president, that appeared in a recent Associated Press story about the flap: "PBS Kids Sprout has determined that the dialogue in this video is inappropriate for her role as a preschool program host and may undermine her character's credibility with our audience."

The funny thing is, I had just been thinking one night recently while watching Melanie, that the only other line of work than kid show host that required as much fake enthusiasm was porn star.

So in my extreme amusement over the incident, I researched the videos. Turns out "The Technical Virgin" videos aren't porn at all. They are spoofs on PSA announcements that teach a girl how to keep her virginity by doing everything but intercourse. Yawn.

Call me jaded, but I say big deal? Give her back her job, you PBS Kids Sprout pussies!

The videos were made before she ever became the host of the show. She is now a stage actress and mother of a toddler herself, news reports say.

In the rush to protect the precious credibility of "The Goodnight Show" with its audience of 2 to 5 year olds, PBS Kids Sprout failed to take into account Melanie's admirable behavior. She was honest and informed the network herself about the existence of the videos.

Well kids, lesson learned: If you admit to making a mistake in your past, looks like you'll get the boot no matter how much you have changed your life.

My son loved "The Goodnight Show," which featured a 1,000-watt-smiling Melanie introducing cartoons, interacting with her pet goldfish and star puppet, showing how to do craft projects, teaching Spanish words, and even demonstrating yoga poses.

Unless she gets hit in the head and starts spouting off about --or demonstrating --the virtues of oral sex and masturbation on the air during "The Good Night Show," I don't see how her past should be a problem.

I have a selfish interest in this situation, I admit. I loved Melanie because she offered energy and enthusiasm right at the hour when mine was at its lowest point of the day. Now PBS is going to launch a search for a new host.

Who other than Melanie can they find to get it up that much while talking to a goldfish and a star puppet? Probably, only an actual porn star.