Food & Drink

New York Times Tells Internet To Put Peas In Guacamole, Internet Responds 'LOL, Yeah Right'

The New York Times tried to sell the world on an unthinkable idea on Wednesday: adding peas to guacamole. Yes, you read that right. An esteemed media publication tried to mess with a sacred, already-perfect food, so naturally the Internet responded with anger, memes and, uh, a song about it.

This issue became so big and so controversial that President Barack Obama responded with a resounding "no", and Jeb Bush even decided to weigh in. Some brave news outlets even made the "Peacamole" concoction.

"Peas add intense sweetness and a chunky texture to the dip, making it more substantial on the chip," stated the paper of record. "They also intensify the color of the green avocado — and help the guacamole stay that way. Pea guacamole keeps its bright hue in the fridge for a few days without turning brown around the edges."

We'll take our chances with the original. Plus, when does anyone have leftover guacamole in the first place?

See some of our favorite reactions to the Times' piece below:

Peas in guacamole?! We fought two world wars and invented a space program so we could have this world? WTF.

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) July 1, 2015

13
Bacon
Shutterstock
Just because we're OBSESSED with bacon, doesn't mean it belongs in our guacamole. Keep it out.
12
Radishes
Flickr: Jordan Sim
Are you even using your brain today?
11
Sour Cream
Flickr: limin_chiu
Avocados are the creamiest thing on the planet, which means that guacamole is NATURALLY creamy. So why in the world are you messing with sour cream?! That's just overkill.
10
Red Pepper
Flickr: Muffet
Stick to your fajitas where you belong.
9
Parsley
Shutterstock
Just because you hate cilantro, doesn't mean you can add in parsley. If you're going to add an herb to guacamole, make sure it's cilantro or don't add anything at all.
8
Asparagus
Flickr: Muffet
Are you INSANE???
7
Cream Cheese
Flickr: bert_m_b
Cream cheese belongs on a bagel. And maybe even on saltines. But never, ever, ever should it end up in a bowl of guacamole.
6
Shrimp Or Crab
Flickr:johnnyd2
Excuse us, we need to go throw up now.
5
Pomegranate Seeds (Or Any Other Fruit)
Flickr: Stacy Spensley
Don't try and look all fancy and creative with your pomegranate seeds. When you add them to guacamole, they just make you look like a fool.
4
Jarred Salsa
Shutterstock
While the addition of real tomatoes is debatable, jarred tomatoes are not. Don't do it.
3
Greek Yogurt
Flickr: ninacoco
This has just got to stop! Greek yogurt does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, belong in everything. It's fine as your breakfast meal, or even as a snack, but keep it away from everything else. Geez, people.
2
Celery
Flickr: TheDeliciousLife
We normally trust the delicious recipes Bon Appetit shares with us, but their suggestion of adding celery to guacamole has us wondering if they've had too much to drink.
1
Mayonnaise
Flickr: Stacy Spensley
YOU ARE DISGUSTING AND YOU NEED TO BE STOPPED.

(And this is coming from someone who actually likes mayonnaise.)